the one where I'm a month into breastfeeding

30 days in. I'm celebrating. It has not been easy. I have cried lots and lots of tears. Held my breathe on multiple occasions as I got ready to latch my little girl on to eat. Got frustrated when I had to drop everything I was doing to feed my newborn again, you know.. just two hours after she ate last. Frustrated when someone knocked on the front door and I was topless in the living room feeding my girl. Frustrated when I had to use my shield for a week because my nipple was cracked. Bleeding. Then there was mastitis. Antibiotics. Showers where I couldn't let the water hit my nipples. Showers where I couldn't wrap myself with a towel because it hurt too much. Nipple shields. Nipple cream. Braless days. Engorged nights. Pumping. Not being able to help Tori because I have a baby on my boob. The pins and needles feeling that comes with letdown.
Things have been getting better. I am happy to say that other than the initial latch, the feedings have been mostly pain free. I don't know if I am super sensitive or a big baby or what but the initial putting her on me kills for about 10-15 seconds. I don't know if that will ever go away? I keep reminding myself that everything is better today than it was two weeks ago. If I survived two weeks ago, Ill survive this now. I also keep small goals in mind. From the hospital it was lets make it two weeks, then that turned into 4 weeks. Now my goal is 6 weeks. I ordered a nursing cover to use while out and about and right now its hard to imagine Ill ever use it. It doesn't come quickly or easily to me so the idea of being able to just feed her whenever and wherever seems so foreign. I can shower and dry off with no pain. I ordered a new nipple cream today.
It is very cool to know that she has grown and is doing so well just from Mommy's milk. Things are looking up. I am hoping things continue to work itself out sooner rather than later.

the one where Ava is one month old

Ava Estelle

One Month

 

Size:

Since my little porker was almost 9lbs at birth, newborn sized things were not really for her. She wore newborn diapers for about a week and fit newborn clothes for about 2 weeks. She currently wears 0-3 months clothing. I already have to go through the newborn clothing in her dresser and pack them up. Tears.

 

Health:

She is a healthy little peanut. Thank God. No jaundice. No colic. No anything. She gained an ounce a day from her 2 day check up to her 2 week check up. Her one month appointment isn't until Jan. 4th so I don't have her current stats but I can tell you she's growing. I think she already feels heavier. The only issue I can think of is that she can be gassy. We usually have an hour or so a night where she is very fussy and needs to poop and just complains until it comes out.

 

Feeding:

Breastfeeding. How I love and loathe you. We have got the latch down. You definitely eat way more on your first side than you do on the second. By the time you reach the second side I can barely keep you awake for 5 minutes. Breastfeeding still doesn't feel ok or natural for Mommy. I still need my pillow, clothes off, privacy.. I ordered a nursing cover but who knows if I will ever get comfortable enough to nurse anywhere other than home. I am wondering if I just have the most sensitive nipples or what gives?! Maybe I'm just a big baby. 4 weeks in. I have heard 4-6 weeks is the magic number for most people. Please Lord let it be sooner rather than later.

 

Sleep:

Ava is a night owl and doesn't like to go to sleep until the late hour of 11pm-midnight. That is tough on Mommy but we deal. When she wakes up to eat it is only to eat and she goes right back to sleep so I cant complain.

 

Extras:

-Ava loves her sister so much and is always watching her every move.

-Ava smiles and "talks"

-She loves to pull Mommy's hair

-She is always kicking her feet like she is trying to go somewhere

-She currently sleeps beside me in bed. Oops.

-Has taken a bottle once, I will introduce her more to them next month as I prepare for work

-Doesn't like or take a pacifier

 

We are so in love

 

the one where I am 3 weeks post partum

Welcome to what may be the most random blog post ever. This is anything and everything I can think of that is going on, 3 weeks into life as a family of four.

The first thing worth noting is that I have made it to week 3 in breastfeeding. It is still not comfortable but I will say it is going better now than it was in the beginning. I can even wrap a towel around me after the shower without pain which is a huge success if you ask me. I have had one bout with mastitis already and am possibly about to go through my second round, waiting on a nurse to call me back and confirm. Breastfeeding still feels like such a process to me. Get my boppy pillow, undress however many layers of clothing I am wearing, make sure I have my nipple cream, new pads for my bra, wake the baby up, keep her awake, feed her, burp her, switch sides, feed her, burp her. I have read lots and lots of blogs and different things online where it seems as though a lot of women saw a major turn around at the 4-6 week mark so I am hoping breastfeeding will soon be the "new normal" for me. Fingers crossed.

Tori has been regularly using the potty for two days now! It is awesome. She totally unprovoked asked Dan to use the toilet and now it seems as though she wants to just keep using it. We make the most huge deal out of it ever which she loves. Yesterday when she went potty she immediately yells "MOMMY!! I went potty! I am so proud of you!" LOL. It was adorable. It is pretty awesome that she just randomly decided she is ready to use the toilet. Since bringing home Ava, Tori's independence has been showing more and more, she seems so much older. She will be three in March which I remember that age being the age that I first really noticed how independent Izzy is and now here it is, Tori's turn to turn into a little woman. Crazy.

Dan and I have both said bringing home your second child is so much less stressful than bringing home your first. You aren't as scared and you aren't questioning anything and everything. We look at Tori and shes so perfect, healthy, smart... clearly we figured things out with her so we will figure it out this time around too. Life is pretty much the same as it always is except for the fact that now we have someones breastfeeding schedule to squeeze into the mix and it takes longer to get us all ready in the morning. I cant even say how many times I have gotten Ava completely dressed and ready for the day and then she has a poopy diaper blow out and its back to square one.

I haven't figured out how to shower and get myself ready with two kids if I am by myself. Tori loves Ava but I cant trust her with the baby to jump into the shower. So as of right now I pretty much hang out all day in my pajamas and then shower and change after Dan gets home or before bedtime. Poor Dan.

Speaking of Tori loving Ava, she is really the best big sister already. She is always hugging and kissing Ava. As soon as she gets up in the morning she asks to see Ava. If she is coming or going she always makes it a point to say hi or bye to Ava. She is also very protective and doesn't like when people hold her. She always asks if they are going to keep her baby in a very nervous and worried way. Adorable.

This week is crazy with Christmas around the corner. We are hosting Xmas Eve at our place for Dans mom, her husband and her brother in law, then on Christmas we are doing the morning just us, my parents house at lunch time and then my Aunt Josephines the rest of the day. Lots of running around but its ok, I am excited to see everyone, for everyone to meet Ava and for Tori to get plenty of cousin time.

the one where we are two weeks into life as a family of four

Eye infection. Ear infection. 24 hour stomach bug. Laryngitis. Mastitis. If you follow me on fbook, you already know.. these are all of the things that have plagued my home since bringing our dearest Ava home from the hospital. Dan feels better, Tori feels mostly better. Mommy still has almost no voice and is on a prescription for her mastitis. The mastitis pain has been coming and going, the meds have been working but occasionally I am getting pain in my chest still which is hard to determine if it is mastitis pain, bad latch pain, etc. The laryngitis has me whispering, but even that can be painful as I have a cough that has come with it making my throat dry and making me scare the baby when I am feeding her and start having a coughing fit. Tonight while eating dinner Dan says "I really hope you get your voice back soon".. right there with ya buddy. The hardest part of no voice is definitely Tori. She can barely hear me when I say something to her and if shes extra naughty for whatever reason, I cant raise my voice. She whispers her responses back to me, Im not sure if she understands that I am sick or if she just thinks this is the new way that Mommy talks lol.

Breastfeeding had been going just as terribly as I remembered it going with Tori. Our latch was terrible. Bloody nipples (sorry), cracked, scabbed, swollen. You name it, it was happening to my boobs. Thankfully after seeing a lactation consultant at Ava's pediatrician office we have been doing much better with the latch. It is still not totally pain free. The first 10ish seconds or so hurt and right now & I am dealing with some over production issues that leave Ava pissed when she goes to latch on and the milk squirts out everywhere. Poor thing cant keep up. Tomorrow is her two week check up and Ill be seeing the lactation consultant again so I plan to chat with her about what I can do to slow my milk down or help Ava learn how to handle it better. I am interested to see how much she weighs now. She was 8lbs 1oz at her 2 day check up. I wonder how much closer to her 8lb 9oz birth weight she is?! Lactation lady has me feeding her every 2-3 hours during the day (based mostly on how full I get) and then overnight I can just feed her as she wants to be fed. This has been nice. She has been consistently waking up twice overnight to eat. Once around 2am and then again between 5-6am. Night hasn't been terrible. She sometimes wants to stay up right before her 2am feeding and chill for an hour or so but she isn't super cranky or crying so its not bad. I rock her and rub her sweet little face and eventually she gets tired and goes to sleep.

Hardest part of the past two weeks is without question (next to bfeeding) finding the balance between Tori and Ava. I swear Tori only wants me to hold her, hug her, play with her, etc. right when she sees I am about to feed Ava. Tori has not understood why feeding Ava cant wait. But that's the thing, it really cant. Especially with how full I feel that I get, mix that with mastitis and I really need to stay on top of feeding her. Sometimes Tori will want me to hold her while I am feeding Ava and that is a real pain. I get so scared that Tor is going to climb on top of me and knock the pillow that Ava is on or something and then Ava is going to pull off my nipple or something lol. Im telling you, these are really the things that go through my head.

Best part of the past two weeks: Tori loves her baby sister SO much. She slept over at Izzys last night and old her Aunt Sum Sum that she "wanted her Mommy, Daddy and baby Ava". And tonight she tells me "Mom, I really love baby Ava" in the sweetest, most adorable big sister way ever. She always wants to hold her and rub her head.. and anytime shes coming or going she always makes it a point to say hi or bye to her baby sister.

I am finding that bringing your second child home is nowhere near as scary or stressful as bringing home your first. We are pretty much doing what we have always done only now we have to throw in a newborns breastfeeding schedule too. I think this would all be going much more smoothly also if I wasn't so sick right now. No voice and this cough is really throwing me off. There should be some sort of rule that mommies cannot get sick, ever.

the one with Ava's birth story

Tomorrow is one week since my second mini has joined the world. It seems like its been a fast week. Not in an annoying, perfect, this-is-easy sort of way.. but in a wow, life with two... visitors.. figuring this all out is a whirlwind sort of way. She has been a breeze as far as her personality goes so far. Shes sweet, she has an adorable little grin.. and she seems like being the second child is exactly what she was meant to be. Im not sure if that makes sense? I guess since having Tori I thought my second child would be my sweet, calm, gentle spirit. It is so far proving to be true. With that said, her short birth story:

Monday (11/30) at around 4am.. I woke up with really strong contractions. I woke up and literally started googling "What do real contractions feel like?".. "How do you know that you are in labor". With Tori being induced, I never had that whole "is this it?" sort of experience. I also only felt contractions for about 30 minutes before getting an epidural with her birth. This time around, I had hard contractions for HOURSSSSSSSS before I got my epidural. I had contractions at home until about 6:30 am when I got checked into the hospital. Then contractions through triage, checking in, etc. By the time I got my epidural I was almost 5 centimeters and 90% effaced. Contractions are brutal. Really, really brutal. Anyways...
Once I got my epidural, and to no one's surprise, I felt like a million bucks. We watched tv, chatted with really sweet nurses, took calls and texts and all of that good stuff..I had lots of check ups along the way and finally around 4pm.. the midwife/nurse got the labor table ready and it was time to go. I pushed a total of 8 minutes. By the time her head and shoulders were out the midwife asked me if I wanted to "pull her out".. I was SO pumped. I found my inner Kourtney Kardashian (only KUWTK fans would think that's funny lol) and pulled my baby girl out and laid her right on my chest at 4:20 pm. She was slimy, puffy and SO BEAUTIFUL. Right away Dan and I's first response was "OMG SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE TORI AT ALL!". It was surreal. My second baby was just born. I had two kids. Crazy. Who trusted me with that?! haha!
I really felt so good and confident with the entire labor. It was really amazing getting to feel like "Wow, this is what labor is really supposed to be like" (vs my labor with Tori, between the pre eclampsia etc it was not a good experience). I am so happy. I am feeling good. I am tired but I mean, duh. Sore... but it gets better everyday.
Right now we are tackling breastfeeding issues and a toddler who is EXTRA clingy to Mommy since her new baby sisters arrival. Those updates will be at another time.

 

Ava Estelle Rera 8lbs 9oz (big girl!!) 20 inches long!

 

 

the one with my parent-of-two fears

I would by lying if I didn't just come out and admit that I am nervous about two kids. 39 weeks tomorrow so any day now, I will be taking on the challenge.

These are some legit fears/questions I have when it comes to adding a second child to my crew:

-Is Tori going to still feel like we worship the ground she walks on?
-When I go to the grocery store.. if I put the babys car seat in the basket.. and Tori in the front seat, where do I put the groceries?
-If I am wearing Ava and Tori takes off while out somewhere.. will Ava get the crap shook out of her as I have to dart across the room or wherever to get Tori?
-Will Tori be jealous that I wear Ava?
-Will Tori become even more obsessed with boobies as she sees me breastfeed Ava?
-Will Tori understand why I breastfeed Ava and not her?
-Is Tor going to try to feed Ava things shes not supposed to?
-Will Tori try to smother Ava?
-Is Tori's sleep schedule going to change again when I have Ava?
-Will one of the girls become more attached to Dan?
-How will I carry Ava's car seat into the gym and hold Tori's hand when 9/10 times, Tori doesn't want to hold my hand?
-Parking lots with TWO kids.
-Travelling with two kids.
-How will Dan do handling two kids while I am working?
-How will I manage two kids schedules?
-Will I be able to find stuff to do that is fun for both kids?
-How long until they can be in the same room without me standing right there?
-Will Ava and I get any bonding time alone after the hospital?
-Will I smell Ava and hold her as much as I did with Tori?
-If its raining outside, who do I get out of the house first?
-Am I allowed to leave Ava inside sleeping if I am right out back with Tori?
-Will I leave the house as much with two kids as I do with one?
-How long until we get into the swing of a family of four?
-Will I ever feel like I am fully 'caught up' with anything?
-How long until I will get any sleep? Like ever again in my life?
-How much harder will it be for Dan and I to have date nights?

So anywho, that is what was on my mind today. I am hoping to get the answers to these questions sooner rather than later.

the one where I'm 38 weeks along

How far along: 38 weeks! The end is near!
Total weight gain: 36 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yep
Stretch marks: Still just the same ones on my hips from when I had Tori, nothing new. (Thankfully)
Sleep: Ava likes dancing on my bladder so I wake up often in the middle of the night.
Best moment of this week: Tori talking to my belly. She was saying "Baby Avaaaaa... time to come out!!!!". It was so sweet. I cant wait for them to meet.
Miss anything: Being able to get up and down without being totally worn out. Cute clothing. My slim face. Wine. Beer.
Movement: YES! A LOT! I will miss that so much.
Food cravings: Ice cream. Sweet frog. Candy. Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Have you started to show yet: Ginormous
Gender: GIRL!
Labor signs: Braxton hicks and my midwife said my cervix is thin (you're welcome)
Belly button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: I don't really wear them anymore.
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy but my bod is worn out!
Looking forward to: Giving birth. Smelling her. Holding her close.

We cannot wait to meet you, baby Ava.

the one where Tori gives the best compliments

All day every day I tell my girl how shes the best at everything. I know I might be turning her into the biggest snob ever but I cant help it.. affirmations are my love language.

"Tori you are SO special"
"Tori you are sooooooooooooo smart!!"
"Tori you are so beautiful!"
"Tori you are the BEST girl EVER!"
"Tori Mommy loves you so much"
"Tori you are sooo good at coloring"
"Tori you make Mommy so happy"
"Tori you are so nice to your friends"
"Tori you are so good at sharing"... ok, this one not so much.

You get my drift.
Anywho-
it has turned Tori into the best compliment giver ever LOL.
Without fail, if she is in the living room and I come downstairs from getting dressed, showered, etc...she will say to me "Wow Mom, you look soooo pretty". If I have makeup on, she notices it. If she likes my outfit, she will tell me. When my hair is done, she will tell me she likes it. It is the best thing ever. Her new favorite thing right now is to tell me how I am the best. "Mommy, I love you so much. You are the BESSSSTTT!!!!"

This is all of course in between telling me if shes mad at me etc. but hey, Ill take it.

the one with a weekend recap

This weekend. My gosh where do I start with this weekend? MADNESS. I tried (and successfully although exhaustingly) to fit as much into this weekend was possible. With Ava really able to come any day now, I feel like I am running out of time to do things outside of the house.

Friday:
I had work things in the morning (the usual..emails/calls/etc.) Then Tori had a dentist appointment. She does SO good at the dentist. They are so good to their little patients. Toys, distractions, patience. It is awesome and I would recommend them to anyone. Tori and I then hit the gym... as my plan is to walk every day in hopes of getting this girl out... and then made it home to spend a little time with Daddy before he went to work for parent-teacher conferences. It was nice he had a short day Friday so he got to sleep in a little and take a slow morning (free of both Tori and I lol) and got to come home early enough for playtime. We had a lot of fun playing outside and then Mommy high tailed it inside to get ready for a ladies night. Makeup, straight hair, leggings instead of sweatpants.. I really went all out. I told Tori before her and Daddy went to the park that I would not be home when she got back and she seemed fine with it. My friend Amber had a birthday last week so this was her celebration. She is also pregnant (due in February with Ava's best friend Ella) so it was nice that everything we did was pregnant chick friendly. Pedicures at my favorite salon right by LA Fitness (where I then gifted Amber with a SweetFrog gift certificate because lets be honest, pregnant girl dream come true right there). After our pedicures we met the rest of our crew out at Iron Hill. I haven't been there in 100 years and it was so good. We shared the sweet potato fry app which is DELISH and probably my most favorite thing on their menu (lol) and then I had a meatlovers pizza. I am determined to eat whatever I want until the babe pops out and I have to start caring again lol. That brings me to the end of the night, home by 8:45... watched a movie with Dan, and bedtime. A fun but exhausting Friday.

Saturday:
We had plans for Dans mom to keep Tori for the day for a week now. We needed to get the house Ava proof and the fact is, I don't get much done when I am with Tori. She is borderline obsessed with me and then mix that with the fact that I am legit obsessed with her, and it means lots of playtime and no cleaning. Dan dropped her off at his Mom's while I had a dr appointment and then I followed that with picking up my mom to come help us for the afternoon. We did everything from wash the car seat cover and pack n play set up, to organizing all of Ava's clothes by size.. rearranging and adding some décor to Toris room, hanging up blinds and curtains in the guest room.. setting up diaper "stations" if you will all throughout the house, making room in the kitchen for baby stuff and lots and lots of washing things like my bjorn, baby blankets, burp cloths, etc. It was definitely harder to prep this time around with trying to squeeze everything in between all of Tori's stuff. After we did that, we decided to take advantage of Rhonda having Tori and head out to dinner just Dan and I for his birthday. His bday is the same as Ava's due date so we figured we would celebrate early since we dont know when shes coming and if we try to celebrate late, then you have all Christmas stuff youre trying to squeeze in also. We joke that we are totally cursed when we try to go out to eat. Literally had the worst service ever at our first stop, followed by lots of places that had super long waits... and then ended it with just getting some appetizers at Bulls head in downtown Lititz. Some birthday dinner lol. I was in bed around 9:30 and Dan had gone out with some friends for drinks and didn't make it home til 1. He is a wild animal, that one.

Sunday:
I was SO sore. SO tired. Did more cleaning. And was an exhausted, irritable mess the rest of the day. Thankfully today Tori slept in until 9, Mommy got some extra rest and I am feeling much better.

the one where Tori has been in preschool for two months

I thought I was going to enjoy my "break time" more than I have been. I think its because 2.5 hours is really just not a long time. I drop Tori off at school and try to run errands... go to the office, the gym, grocery store, get my eyebrows done, whatever I think would be much easier to do without her.. all the while I am religiously checking my phone for the time (even though I have an alarm set for when I have to leave to pick her up) and before I know it, its 11:20 and time to head on over to Calvary.

Morning routine on Tuesdays and Thursdays:
On the off chance that Tori isn't up yet, I make sure she is awake by 8am. We canoodle for a minute or two while she tells me what her dreams were about and very sternly insists that she will be "wearing a dress today!". Diaper change. Outfit on. Brush teeth. The girl loves to brush her teeth. That is both a good thing and a really time consuming thing lol. Like who takes 10 whole minutes to brush their teeth? Lets go kid! We have to get out of the door by 8:40 and you haven't even let me do your hair or ate breakfast yet! School day breakfasts are quick. They are usually either a waffle (don't worry, whole grain, no added crap, cost a $hitload of money at the store... we don't do eggos), a banana and yogurt or a yogurt and a nature valley bar. I then have to spend 5 minutes convincing her that going to school "looking like a wild animal" is frowned upon and I try to get a classic ponytail in her hair. She insists on a braid. Always a braid. Strike that, a braid or nothing at all. She likes the Merida (Brave) look. We get to school, I of course park in the permit only section. Ever since they told us those can be used by anyone pregnant or anyone bringing more than one child to school I take full advantage. We go inside and sit in the hallway for about 5 minutes until they open the doors. We play "find your classroom".. she points to many classrooms that are in fact NOT hers (which I think she does just to be funny) and then we find her room. Drop off is usually fine. Shes had the occasional "mommy don't leave me" moments but for the most part, no issues.
After that is where Mommy rushes to her car and makes a mad dash to squeeze in as much stuff as possible. My favorite part (of course) is picking up my girl. First of all, I am always there before class is officially over so I usually catch "circle time" where the kids are sitting there reading a book with the teacher. All of the kids except for mine. Mine is the one sitting next to the assistant teacher, with no shoes on, playing with the hair of the girl in front of her, petting the head of the boy sitting next to her.. or trying to rip bracelets and necklaces off of the assistant teacher. I literally peek into the windows and crack up like a crazy person. Tori is not much for sitting. Or calm time. Or keeping her hands to herself.
She is always so happy to see me at the end of the day and also so excited to tell me about all of the fun she is having. She doesn't usually remember what it is they actually learned that day but she ALWAYS remembers which friend she played with the most and she ALWAYS remembers what she had for snack time lol.

In a nutshell:
Tori is developing at rapid speed. She talks non stop. Seriously, always talking. Much like her mommy and daddy who are social butterflies. She puts together full sentences.. remembers names so well.. and although she is not napping, school does seem to wear her out and make her relax for a little afterwards so that makes me happy. I like the school a lot but will still probably enroll her in the school closer to our house for her 3 year old year more for convenience than anything else. 2 months down! She is doing FAB!!!

the one where I am 36 weeks along

How far along: 36 weeks (this Sat)!
Total weight gain: 33 lbs
Maternity clothes: Yep and I am getting really bored of the clothes right now which sucks. If I am home, I am pretty much in sweats. Poor Dan.
Stretch marks: Still just the same ones on my hips from when I had Tori, nothing new. (Thankfully)
Sleep: I wake up in the middle of the night pretty regularly right now but luckily I am able to go back to sleep. Ava loves to move when its bedtime.
Best moment of this week: Yesterday I went to a store & when I told the lady I was due with my baby next month (she could only see me from the chest up) she was totally shocked. One of the other perks of no pre-e this pregnancy: I am not nearly as bloated/retaining water as I was the last time.
Miss anything: Being able to get up and down without being totally worn out.
Movement: YES! A LOT!
Food cravings: More food aversions than anything else.
Have you started to show yet: I am massive
Gender: GIRL!
Labor signs: Braxton hicks.
Belly button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: On but I take them off halfway through the day as I get more puffy
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy but my bod is worn out!
Looking forward to: the fact that the countdown is on!!! Another week until I try anything and everything to get this girl here :)

the one with Ava's Sprinkle and a nesting update

This was another weekend that was jam packed. Breakfast for my mother-in-law's birthday, park time, two real estate appointments, my last shift at LAF (before the baby comes), then sat around a fire with the neighbors for a little before I oh-so-typically went to bed early.

35 weeks pregnant. This week my app (which we all know you MUST follow) says I need to pack my hospital bag. That's a little terrifying. I am more nervous about giving birth this time around. Leaving Tori for potentially a few days, making sure everything goes smoothly, making sure I don't forget anything, and then.. bring home the new babe.

Sunday my girlfriend Lauren threw a "Sprinkle" for baby Ava and I. She made out like a bandit. Diapers, wipes, a couple outfits, some toys, gift cards.. Mommy even got a pedicure giftcard which I am very excited to use.

I don't know if any other Mommies felt this way but I am feeling more lost with where to start this time around than I was the first time lol. The first time, we got a registry, everything was brand new, put in its perfect spot.. this time around: I have to dig and dig to find everything, wash all baby girl's clothes, find a place in the house (in between Tori's stuff) for the pack-n-play, swing, etc.

My To-Do list before Ava gets here:
-clean everything in this house. Like top to bottom clean. Dust, sweep, mop, organize.
-Clean/wash/vacuum my car. We have to keep it until our issue with Ford is closed so that could be another two months.
-Buy cozy pajamas for  myself for the hospital
-Organize baby clothes from newborn to 6 months.
-Have pack n play and swing set up in living room
-Get blinds for the guest room

I know there are things I am missing but hey, this is a start.

the one with a weekend recap

This past weekend was fun and busy. Those two words do not always go hand in hand as sometimes too busy means over stimulation for Tori which means meltdown which means parents who are sweating and cranky and ready to do anything to get home and away from any public madness.
Saturday started with a morning at Corn Cob Acres for Colin's third birthday. I take Tori once a fall season and she loves it. It is not cheap but there are enough things to do that keeps her busy for hours and if you go early enough, you aren't waiting in lines. Tori woke up with some allergy issues so we really thought she would only last 20 min but she got distracted quickly. Tori had fun climbing (on anything and everything because she is a monkey), getting on the hayride and the tractor ride.. going up hay and down slides.. enjoying/scarfing down a hot dog, goldfish and donuts (rather than cake-birthday boys request haha). We ended up getting asked shortly after if we wanted to go see a movie, Sicario.. btw- it was awesome. Go see it! So in between getting rdy for that we were trying to eat dinner, I was helping my dearest neighbor girl get ready for her first homecoming (tears!).. and trying to get Tori ready to go to her grandmas while we were at the movie. None of this was an easy task but somehow we managed. After the movie the night ended with Tori being put to sleep and Chris and Mad coming over for drinks and politics talk. FUN FUN FUN. (sarcasm lol).
Sunday we crash cleaned the house as we were having friends over to carve pumpkins. I am currently pregnant enough that I am getting left out of plans and honestly-pregnant enough that I probably wouldn't go anyways. I feel huge and don't like wearing pants. Apparently not wearing pants in public is frowned upon. So anywho- back to the point: I invited our friends over for day drinks/pumpkin carving/snacks. Before everyone came over we made a very fun trip to Costco (lol).. where I discovered their pizza is delicious and me, Dan and Tori can eat lunch there, complete with drinks for less than $7.00. WIN!
We had brie cheese complete with my home made apple butter, pretzels and dip, pumpkin creamcheese cupcakes and wings to snack on while everyone was there and since the rain dampered our outside pumpkin carving plans we took shifts carving pumpkins in our sunroom which worked out perfectly. The ladies went first and then the guys. Football was playing, Fall beers were drank, snacks were ate, Tori was played with, laughter happened, baby talk happened, it was a really great day.

the one where I am 34 weeks along

How far along: 34 weeks!
Total weight gain: 30 ish lbs
Maternity clothes: Yep!
Stretch marks: Nope
Sleep: I wake up anywhere between 4am-7am pretty regularly. I can usually get back to sleep for a bit before Tori wakes up but it depends.
Best moment of this week: Tori is getting more and more aware of her baby sister. She will tell you her name and that she is "very little".. and that Tori is going to "be a big family helper". Its the sweetest.
Miss anything: Pumpkin beer. Being able to get up and down without being totally worn out.
Movement: YES! A LOT!
Food cravings: More food aversions than anything else. I tried Chipotle for the first time since being pregnant and almost puked.
Have you started to show yet: I am massive
Gender: GIRL!
Labor signs: Braxton hicks for sure. I never had them with Tori.
Belly button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: On but I take them off halfway through the day as I get more puffy
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy but my bod is worn out!
Looking forward to: Painting Tori/Ava's bedroom! Its on my October to-do list! My Sprinkle!

I am feeling good overall but my body is worn out. So worn out. My legs cramp and ache at the end of the day. My back hurts if I sit playing on the floor for too long with Tori. I get very crampy if I carry Tori too much. Everyone who sees me says I am going to pop before my due date. The end is near, and for that I am very excited!

the one where I read a new book

"Parenting your strong willed child". That title really stood out to me at the library yesterday. There I was, every couple of minutes "Tori, this is not YOUR library, you have to share it with everyone"... you know, after we left toddler time early because she decided the songs were corny and the book wasn't interesting enough. I look over in the parent section of books and it was staring right at me. I had another friend who told me she was reading it so I thought hey, why not give it a try. I am about a quarter of the way through and this is what I have figured out so far:

-Kids are ALWAYS one step AHEAD of you. Especially mine.
-Letting kids watch tv while eating makes them fat.
-If your child is interrupting you while you are talking to other adults... (like mine does when she says "mom, mom, mom" over and over again until I look at her) you are supposed to ignore her.
-Praise over anything and everything they do the "right" way is necessary.
-Kids model everything they see. If they see other kids throw tantrums and get what they want, they will want to do the same thing to get their way.
-ADHD is genetic.
-There is no real test to see if your child has ADHD, more like doctors will observe their behavior.
-Tori has a low attention span.
-Tori needs to be moving and doing something at all times.
-I am still not positive that is any different than any other toddler.
-You must give children options.
-Lack of sleep (which Tori is experiencing right now since cutting out her naps) is very bad for a child in so many ways.
-You must watch how you respond to their bad behavior. If you get loud or upset then they think that making you loud and upset gets them what they want.
-Tori growls and says "oh my God" when she is annoyed. So do Dan and I. oops.
-Every child needs to be parented and disciplined differently.

I don't know where to start really. The tantrums are the worst. She hasn't been hitting as much lately, thankfully.. but the screaming, crying, throwing herself around is still very real. She currently doesn't want to nap because she is afraid of Cruella DeVil and everytime she sees a shadow is convinced its her. No naps are very hit or miss for Tori. Sometimes she can be ok without one as long as she is distracted and other times (like yesterday when we had to leave Costco after being there for 5 minutes) its a disaster. It can be hard to plan a day around that because you don't know what you are going to get. She is obsessed with dresses and HATES that she has to wear pants and long sleeve shirts right now so dressing her can be a real pain.
So basically, that's where we are at right now. One of the most challenging yet I guess exciting things about parenting is how it is always changing. No phases are the same and this is hopefully just another bump in the road that will pass.
If only I could drink my way through this phase, life would be much easier.

the one where I make EASY APPLE DUMPLINGS

Today me, Tori, Izzy and Summer went apple picking. We are three years strong in our tradition. Tori was pretty cranky majority of the time... which I refuse to accept may just be her personality for awhile. She has had a bit of a stuffy nose/cough combo so maybe that's it? Fingers crossed.
Anyways, we go to Cherry Hill Orchards. It is fun, easy to get to and a fair price.
I have been pinning apple recipes for a few days now and one of the things that made the list of course, was apple dumplings. So after picking, we went to Giant to get some ingredients and then headed to our house to get to work on our dumplings.

Ingredients:
-2 large apples (peeled and each one sliced into 8)
-1 cup of Sprite (weird I know, but you don't taste it)
-1 TBSP cinnamon
-1.5 TBSP flour
-1 stick of butter
-1/2 cup of sugar
-A roll of the Pillsbury crescent dinner rolls (8 per roll)

To do:
-Take care of the apples first. Peel. Use an apple cutter to get them cut into 8. Seriously, do that, its so much faster and easier lol.
-In a microwave safe bowl, melt the stick of butter
-Once that is completed, stir in the sugar, cinnamon and flour until mixed thoroughly.
-Take crescent rolls and lay the 8 pieces flat on the counter.
-Put a piece of apple on the thick end of the crescent roll and wrap as if youre making pigs in a blanket or something of that sort.
-Take a large cake pan and grease it.
-Put the apple/rolls in the pan and then cover each with the cinnamon/butter mixture.
-Take the cup of sprite and pour into the pan AROUND the dumplings. Do NOT put the sprite on top of them!
-Bake at 350 for about 35 minutes or until it looks like the rolls are done.

Serve warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and some caramel sauce.
Pregnant woman heaven.

the one where I tell a newbie what to expect

I have people reach out to me pretty regularly about my job and what it entails. I thought I would post about it and then anyone with any questions outside of here, please feel free to ask. Side note: I would also like to stress I have included some of my own opinion in this.

-You have to take two classes to get your license.
-You must pass a final at the end of each class.
-After the two are completed (one after another) you may then take your state license exam.
-The exam is held in Harrisburg. I don't remember how much money it costs to take but you do have to pay for it every time you take it. I know people who passed the first time and people who took it up to 5. In my opinion its a lot like a test you would take in college: you will probably not use the stuff again as so much of learning about the job must be done on the field.
-You interview places to work for. Yep that's right, the fact is, every broker wants you to work for them if they see you have potential to make them some money. So you shop around (this is often done during your classes you're taking). You will find out things like commission splits, mileage reimbursement (I only know one company who does that), what your desk space will be like, what sort of in house training you will have, etc.
-You get our own leads. The advertising you see on fbook, IG, the calls you get, the emails you get from agents.. this is because we start off completely on our own with our goal of eventually getting referrals.
-You do NOT get paid unless you SELL A HOUSE. The time you spend showing homes, getting people pre approved, answering endless real estate related questions, buying marketing materials, signs, your cards, you do not get any money back for that until you sell. This is NOT an hourly plus commission job. ALL THE MORE REASON PEOPLE NEED TO BE RESPECTFUL OF YOUR TIME. Do not be afraid to explain that to a person.
-As an agent, unless you set your own cutoff for when you will not work, you are on call 24/7. I have done deals where the negotiations went until 11pm. I try not to do any work later than 8pm so that I can wind down and get some sleep but that's not always easy.
-There are a lot of fees included in being a realtor. You have to pay for key access, MLS access, marketing materials, signs, photos, business cards, websites, your license renewal, your membership dues, etc.
-You get to make your own hours which is nice but at the same time, its really based on your clients and their schedules.
-The real estate market changes regularly. You have to be willing to learn something new.
-You have to take continuing education courses to keep your license valid.
-In my opinion, if you are going to get into real estate, you should go in FULL TIME. It is totally normal to have a transition period as you leave one job to go to another, clearly leaving a job to enter a commission based job is terrifying but as long as you hold yourself accountable for the things you are doing to grow your career, you will succeed.
-Don't fool yourself. If you are not the type to talk to people, to follow up, to be flexible with your hours, to do paperwork, this is not the job for you and that's ok.
-You cant take things personally in this job. Someone you know will use a realtor other than you, someone you are listing a house for will think they know what the price should be better than you do, someone you are helping buy a home will change their mind about buying after you have shown them 20 houses.

I love my job. The clients, spending time with people and getting to see their interactions/relationships, getting to see the excitement people experience when they find a house they love or sell their first home to buy their family home. I have done this for four years now and it hasn't always been easy. I have questioned if I should have a back up plan. Then I started a family and wow, my motivation was taken to a whole new level. Full time working mom AND I get to stay at home with my child?! She never has to go to daycare because then she gets taken care of by Daddy when I have evening/weekend appointments. My mom helps me when I have clients in York. It is an amazing feeling when you feel that something was truly made for you and is your calling.

Contact me today if you or anyone you know is in the market to buy or sell a home and please don't hesitate to ask any questions if you are thinking of joining this field!
Angela.Rera@cbhomes.com 717-332-4407

the one with the Stauffers fall fest

The past two weekends in a row, Stauffers store has had a fall fest.

Free to get in.
Free things for kids.
Free ways to wear out my child.
Free to spend extra time with my family.
Free. Free. Free.
Free is my favorite.

I was worried that the place would be crazy busy but lucky for us, it wasn't. I don't know if it was the wind chill or the fact that it was muddy out, but we pretty much had the whole place to ourselves. 'We" as in me, Tori, my mom, Summer and Izzy. I love including my niece in everything we do. When I was younger, ALL of my most favorite childhood memories include my cousins and I am determined to do the same for Tori. So to Stauffers (in East York) we went.
They had pumpkin painting, pumpkin bowling, pumpkin ring toss, a bubble stand, Halloween tattoos, a bake sale, coloring, a corn maze, etc. Again, please let me stress.. FREE.
Tori and Izzy did a great job painting their pumpkins. Tori is very artsy, we call her our 'angry artist', she gets very into her artwork and this was no exception lol. After they got crazy with their paint we put them down to dry and wandered around looking for more fun. They got some fun tattoos which Tori is STILL talking about and showing everyone she sees. Pumpkin tattoos are awesome. Tori also wiped out once while chasing Izzy and got a nice boo-boo on her arm which has also been added to the list of things she wants to show everyone. She is a bit needy haha. The bubble stand was Tori's next favorite thing. The girl LOVES bubbles and I am so happy she has all but mastered blowing bubbles because it is really not that fun to just blow bubbles over and over again.
Once the kids started to meltdown due to it getting close to naptime we got some goodies at the bake sale, everything was $1 AND SOOOO GOOD! Chocolate covered pretzels, peanut butter fudge, butter finger truffles... we got wild... and even brought the truffles home for Daddy (youre welcome, Dan). The day was followed by lunch at Marinos, meltdowns by Tori and Izzy both.. and then getting them away from each other so they could nap and wind down.
It is not always easy taking Tori to do this stuff, especially right now while pregnant. I feel heavy and tired and I know it would be easier to just stay home with her, but I just cant. I want her to have so much fun, build memories, make traditions. I know she loves it too.

the one where Tori is 2 years and 7 months old

Talking, talking, talking.
My girl is always talking. I obviously am not surprised that my child is a talker, she happens to have two of the most talkative/outgoing parents ever. So an introvert she will never be.

Some tidbits:
-Tori learns a new word or phrase every. single. day.
-"I cant" is her favorite phrase ever when it comes to anything she doesn't want to do. "Tori, put your coat on"..."Mom, I cant"... "Tori, eat one more bite of your chicken".. "I cant!"
-She has discovered what getting sympathy is. Especially when one's mother is 32 weeks pregnant. I have been hit the past two weeks or so with some intense back pain. Therefore I say "my back hurts" a lot. So.. if Tori wants a snack.. or a "treat".. and we say no, she follows it with "but my back hurts".. so clearly, that reason means she needs a snack/treat.
-I think she thinks my belly button is baby Ava. 9 times out of 10, when she wants to see Ava it involves lifting my shirt up, pushing on my now outtie belly button and then saying "put Ava away"
-She has become very sensitive to others touching her. Like in the kids club for example. If another kid touches her arm or her dress or whatever, she immediately tells on them. "Mom that kid touch me".. and I try to tell her that its not a big deal and they were just trying to be nice but that is not the answer shes usually looking for.
-She hates pants. And coats. This does not make for fun while dressing her for 50 degree weather.
-Her kindle broke. This sucks. We only have one tv in the whole house. We aren't a fan of TV's in the bedroom and have decided shes too young to put a tv in her playroom. That means if she wants to watch something, or more importantly, if I NEED her to watch something because I have work or need to take a shower or whatever else, it is on the main tv.. which means no one else can watch anything. We are currently trying to decide if this crisis needs to be taken care of right away or if it can wait until Christmas.
-Tori has been introduced to the world of Lollipops. She loves them. Who doesn't?!
-She can fit some 2T clothing right now but it probably wont work for much longer. I have been mostly buying 3T. Girlfriend is growing, growing, growing.
-She has been in school for almost a month and really likes it. Getting her out the door in the morning isn't easy (ever) but every time I pick her up from school shes excited to talk about her day and doesn't want to leave.
-Every night before bed.. while Im rocking her.. we talk about her day and she always tells me what she did that was fun. After that, I tell her I love her and that shes my best friend. The other day she was driving somewhere with Daddy and he asked her who her best friend was and if its Izzy and she said "No daddy, its Mommy!"

the one where Madelyn becomes a Husted with the Musted

This past weekend two of our very best friends got married. Dan was the best man in the wedding and I was a bridesmaid. The weekend was fun, busy and exhausting.

Friday:
It just so happened that Dan had a half day from school. That worked out so nicely as we had a list of things I had written down on our to-do list and my head was about to explode trying to figure out how to do it all. We had to pick up Dan's suit, drop Tori off at his mom's house, get ready, go to the rehearsal which was at a park in Wrightsville and then head to the rehearsal dinner. I can be a freak about time so originally when all of those things had to be done between 3:30 to 5, I almost lost it.
Around 1pm Dans mom ended up texting me and offering to pick Tori up on her way home from work. This would make things so, so much easier and of course I was hesitant at first. Im not a big fan of Tori driving with anyone who isn't me. Yes, even Dan. I am sort of crazy about it. I went over 101 scenarios in my head and then finally convinced myself why it was going to be perfectly fine and it was only a 20 minute ride and that Dan's mom would let me know when they got home and all would be well. Fast forward and what do ya know?! She was fine. After Rhonda picked up Tori, Dan and I had about an hour before we needed to get ready where we could just hang out. Obviously we documented that with a picture of us just hanging out on the back porch. We didn't know what to do with ourselves. We pretended Tori was there (naturally) by yelling things as if she was.. you know, things like don't put dirt in your mouth, stay in our own yard, we even threatened to take her inside a few times. After we got dolled up Meg and Ray came over (both of them were also in the wedding) and we headed to the rehearsal. The rehearsal was not at the place Mad and Chris got married so it was a tad confusing. We learned who was lined up with who and we also learned that the ceremony was going to be super quick (thankfully) and then we learned that there are such things as dog weddings. Long story short.. there was a dog wedding happening in the park at the same time as the Husted rehearsal. Ok, maybe it wasn't a dog wedding and it was actually engagement pictures being taken with dogs included but a dog wedding seemed a lot more funny. We even threw in there that the dogs were gay. A gay dog wedding. Yep, that makes sense and yes that is the sort of conversation that happens when you put me and my girlfriends together. In a park. Cold. Hungry. Anxious. Dinner was at the Eagles Nest in York and it was delicious!!!! You had an option of a steak/crabcake/chicken or greek platter thing. Literally everyone loved their food. Dan and I always purposely get different things so we can taste both, or in this case, because I am currently going through a weird eating stage of pregnancy, Dan ate my crabcake and we brought his steak and baked potato home. Gifts were given. The guys all got these really awesome pocket watches (I don't like to brag but that's partially in thanks to me, youre welcome Chris!) and the ladies got a unique Alex and Ani bracelet and a set of earrings to wear for the weddings. Super cute, super fun and something we will all use.

Saturday:

I was feeling anxious all night because of Tori sleeping over at Rhonda's. Rhonda is FAB with her and Tori loves her so much but I cannot handle Tori being away from me. I tossed and turned all night so naturally, I woke up Saturday feeling terrible. My neck was so stiff and I was exhausted. Meg texted me saying she was running late because she threw her back out. Apparently we are old. And stiff LOL. She comes to get me, we run to Panera to do a coffee/bagel and cream cheese pick up and off to John Wright we went to get ready. Madelyn had hired two current beauty school students to do our hair and makeup and they did FANTASTIC. I LOVE getting my makeup professionally done. And other than a messy bun, an updo isn't my thing so I got both done. Getting ready for a wedding, although LONG is fun. Even when almost 8 months pregnant and sober. We laughed, we talked, we listened to music. It felt good to get some girl time. By the time Madelyn was done getting ready she legit looked like a bridal Barbie. Magazine material. STUNNING. And I must say, I think everyone cleaned up really nice. I LOVE seeing Dan in a suit. My husband looked hot. I wont bore you with any more details of it but yeah, he's a babe. The ceremony was short and sweet. It was pretty windy outside but nothing terrible and I would much rather be standing outside on a windy day than standing outside in terrible heat. At the reception inside, it was gorgeous. John Wright overlooks the river so it was beautiful for pictures and we had taken wedding pictures before the ceremony even started so once the reception started we really just got to enjoy ourselves with the guests. Open bar, dinner, dancing. It was a lot of fun. Crazy that Chris and Madelyn are married! I can still remember the first night meeting her and it is so fun to have gotten to be a part of not only their chapter as they started dating/their relationship but also of their wedding day. I must say, even at almost 8 months pregnant, it was not terrible. My friends are all nuts so we laugh and laugh even without any alcohol. And lucky for me, our bmaid dresses were not tight fitting so I didn't feel as much of a cow as I thought I might.

 

I am still seriously considering becoming a professional bridesmaid. I am so good at it.

 

 



the one where I am 30 weeks along

This week has been a whirlwind and I have been enjoying the non stop baby related fun!
Our dear friends John and Christine welcomed baby Brynlee Elizabeth to the world on Friday and then that night we found out that our friends Amber and Andy will be having a baby _____ come February! So exciting and we are so happy to finally have friends who are joining the parenting club.
30 weeks has come fast. Really fast. I feel SO heavy all of a sudden. I hate how I look. With Tori, I was mostly big during the winter so I was able to be covered up. This pregnancy has brought on shorts, tank tops, dresses, flabby arms, cellulite in places I have never seen it, hips wide enough that when I went to meet baby Brynlee yesterday I was told that the nurses thought I was in labor. Yes people, I waddle. And no, Im not one of those who only looks pregnant in the belly. I carry pregnancy everywhere. For the most part, I like being pregnant but with that said, right now is about the time that I start getting antsy. I don't feel like myself. I know what youre thinking, cry me a river... but I am not used to seeing myself this heavy. 120 soak and wet is my usual and breaking 150 is hard. Its hard on my back, its hard on my hips, its hard on my toddler who wants me to carry her, its hard on my toddler who randomly has decided that "hold me like a baby" should be a normal occurrence. Hard on my workouts, sometimes I go to bend down and am afraid I wont make it back up lol. Hard on my husband who I complain to. Hard on my non-maternity clothes that I insist on still getting on my body somehow LOL. Ill end on a positive note: I am SO blessed to be able to have this experience, so blessed to be able to grow a healthy, perfect baby.. and Ill take whatever pounds I have to to make sure all is well for my little Ava Estelle.

How far along: 30 weeks!
Total weight gain: 25 ish lbs
Maternity clothes: Yep!
Stretch marks: Nope
Sleep: Its been fine, thankfully
Best moment of this week: Starting to look into my newborn photog.
Miss anything: Alcohol and my old face lol. I am officially puffy.
Movement: YES! A LOT!
Food cravings: More food aversions than anything else
Have you started to show yet: I am massive
Gender: GIRL!
Labor signs: Thankfully no!
Belly button in or out: Out
Wedding rings on or off: On but I take them off halfway through the day as I get more puffy
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy!
Looking forward to: Painting Tori/Ava's bedroom! Its on my October to-do list!

the one where I get real about my bad day

This is not a cry for help I swear. Its a real post. Its a mom-life-is-hard-and-draining-and-some-days-I-want-to-run-away-from-home sort of post. Why share? Because motherhood isn't always rainbows and butterflies people, and why would I have a blog if I wasn't going to be real? I have unsubscribed to a bunch of mom blogs who share only the dreamy stuff. The stuff where they are playing in a field picking flowers with their perfectly behaved children. Where their hair is in a perfect updo, they are wearing a beautiful floor length sun dress and they have their makeup on, fresh and dewey. ITS NOT HOW IT REALLY IS PEOPLE.
Don't get me wrong. Motherhood is amazing. There is a love that comes with being a mom that you do NOT understand until you are a mother. You might start getting an idea of that love when you're pregnant, but it doesn't take over your soul the way the love does when you are holding that precious baby. And then, fast forward to two years.. and there are tears. Not so much toddler tears, there are mommy tears. I cried today. A couple of different times. I have heard "boys are so much easier to raise than gitls" more times than I can count. I don't know what makes that true.. or if its true.. and as of right now I wont be finding out but my girl, shes hard. Today she hit me more times than I can count, she scratched my face and broke skin, she kicked me. She stepped on my toes enough times that I didn't want to take my shoes off in the house, she pulled my hair because she was "trying to braid it". She refused to sit in the booth at lunch, she climbed, she screamed, she emptied everything onto the table that she could (servers love us).. she refused to eat.. (and then told me in the car that she was "so hungry"). She wouldn't sit at her table for dinner, she wouldn't sit at our table for dinner, she wouldn't sit in her high chair for dinner. Pretty much, anything she could possibly be doing, she didn't want to do. She fought tooth and nail to not give into anything I said today.. and I don't know why? I don't know why these battles happen. I don't know why time out doesn't seem to phase her. I don't know why she will be so tired she can barely keep her eyes open but she will just fight the nap as if it just the worst idea shes ever heard. All of this drama and fighting happened over a few hours timespan. It is draining. I thought to myself multiple times that I wished I wasn't home. I was envious of those who don't have children and were shopping, or getting dinner with friends, napping or doing anything else in the world than what I was doing right then. Am I horrible for saying that? I really wanted to not be there today. I really wanted to not be around my child.
The hardest part of days like today are not even the hitting or anything physical. Its the amount of questioning I do to myself as a parent. What am I doing wrong? What should I change? Am I a bad mom? Does anyone else have to deal with this stuff like I do? Why cant I keep my house clean? Why are there always so many dishes? Why is there never food in our house? Why have I not put makeup on in 4 days?
Fast forward to bedtime.. and I am rocking this little tyrant of mine to sleep.
Mommy: "Did you have a fun day today?"
Tori: "Yes, I play with Mommy and Daddy"
Mommy: "Why don't you listen to Mommy, Tor? Mommy loves you and tries very hard to take good care of you. No more hitting Mommy, ok Tori?"
Tori: "Ok Mommy, love you".

I love you too baby girl, even on our worst day together, I hope you always remember I love you. I am proud of you. I am your number one fan. You are the love of my life.