Friday, October 31, 2014

The secret society.

I have been going back and forth on whether or not I was going to post this (and have had it written for days) but decided to move forward... so here it is:
I had a miscarriage. Ugh. I hate that I just had to write that sentence but I am not going to mom-shame and pretend it didn't happen. Did you know that 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage? I knew it was common, but I have always thought it was weird just how common it is because NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT. I get that its not an easy thing to talk about(hello, I have been on and off crying for days over this) but it sucks to feel lonely and I personally am the type who needs to talk about things to feel better. It sucks to feel like no one gets it. It sucks that it seems as though so many women are embarrassed about it. I know a TON of people who have had miscarriages, but I cant talk to them about it because guess what?! Im not supposed to know they had a miscarriage. Someone tells a friend, a family member, a coworker, and it sort of goes down the line and that has especially happened once I revealed that I have had a miscarriage. "It will be ok Ang, my cousin-sister-roommate-neighbor's nephew's girlfriend had a miscarriage and has had perfectly healthy pregnancies too, so you will have a healthy baby again".
The background:
I found out I was pregnant the same day we were in Urgent Care with Tori for pneumonia. Dan and I literally laughed when I had the positive test. Mostly because we just couldn't believe the sort of emotions that came with the day. Terrified that our baby was so sick, elated that our hopes in making her a big sister were coming true. In awe that we are so lucky that pregnancy happens so quickly and easily for us.
We were already dreaming of this baby and what it was going to mean to be a family of four. He was due May 31st. He was going to be really easygoing, yes... he. We just knew already that he was going to be a boy. The pregnancy was different this time around, I had morning sickness and was showing sooner... so that all meant it was a boy. Plus, Tori is our Princess and we couldn't imagine her ever having any sort of competition in any way. She would always be our princess and we would add our prince to the bunch and our little family would be complete.
A couple of weeks had passed and I decided I wanted to use a different OB this time around because the place I used with Tori was HUGE and they had lost urine tests etc and I felt like maybe a smaller place this time around would be better. I scheduled my first appointment (expecting an ultrasound because that is what the first place did).. and the nurse told me they would not do any ultrasounds until week 18. Oh, also... they didn't do any ultrasounds or blood work in house, they ordered them and you had to go to another place to get them done. None of this sat well with me. Being that some of my appointments would be during the day, that would mean carting my toddler in and out in the middle of winter to different places and I would rather have had a one-stop-shop. I came home from my appointment and could not stop thinking about the no ultrasound until 18 weeks thing. It bothered me so much. I told Dan I hated that idea, he told me its fine... It was on my mind when I went to sleep that night and I pretty much tossed and turned all night long until about 4 am when I woke up for the day and had decided at 8am I would call the OB place, tell them I wasnt going to go there anymore and then call my original OB place and schedule my appointment with them. 7am hits and I have spotting. Panic mode. I did not experience that at all whatsoever with my first pregnancy. I call my original OB at 8am... explain everything to them and they get me into the place within an hour to get an ultrasound and check things out. Dan didn't have to be at work until noon so he was able to stay home with Tori while I went.
I go into the ultrasound room, change.. and before the nurse comes in, I say a quick prayer "please make my baby ok"... I am not religious(although raised Catholic). I pray when I get scared. Im not sure thats right but its what I do. Nurse comes in and says I am ("I am" meaning my uterus) measuring at 9 weeks but the baby is only measuring at 6 and there is no heartbeat. "Im sorry" she says... she looked at me with very sympathetic eyes and follows with "take a minute, get dressed and the doctor will talk to you about it in the other room". I cry by myself and am shaking and am nervous and feel weird and just feel a lot of different things at once. I keep thinking how strange it is that I couldnt shake the whole not getting an ultrasound thing and how it had even woken me in the middle of the night... almost like I knew something was wrong. My doctor was amazing. She too had just suffered a miscarriage a few months before and she got really emotional with me talking about it and then there we were, two adult women, sitting in a doctors office and blubbering about how much you can love something you only had for a few weeks. It is such a strange thing to love someone you don't know. To be so excited for something that you only had for such a short time.
So next week comes surgery. Being sad and disappointed comes and goes. I had a friend announce his wife's second pregnancy on fbook the other day and lost it. Do not get me wrong, I am SO happy for them... their little one is due June 4th (5 days After my #2 was due)... but it stung. They are getting their June baby, I am not getting mine.
I keep Victoria in the front of my mind as I know some people don't even get to experience one perfectly healthy child.. and she is mine, she is my miracle and I am very grateful to have her. I know there are people out there who will say "at least it happened at 9 weeks and not 9 months".. or "at least you can get pregnant"... "at least you have one healthy child".. and I get it, I really do, but that doesn't make it any easier.
Being a mother, a wife, this is what my life is about. I have to keep trust in my body, that it knows what is best for me and also keep faith that being a mother is what I am made for and that we will get another perfect, healthy baby when the time is right.
 
 

Monday, October 27, 2014

Corn Cob Acres

About two weekends ago we got the family together for a fall fun day. We ventured over to Corn Cob Acres in Mountville (right at Field of Screams).
They had a ton of stuff for the kiddos to do. Pumpkin painting, slides, a huge area with corn kennels for digging, a wagon ride, a bounce house, etc.
So lets Review:
Fact: The kids' age's who participated were 1.5, 1.5 and 3. The adults were: 27, 24, 20, 26, 47, and 69. I think this is important to note as not everything about the place was both toddler and grown up friendly.
Price: Not bad, not great. $12 for anyone over the age of 2. Luckily Izzy is the tiniest person ever so she passed for 2 and only the grownups had to pay. I do think that $12 to supervise your kids is a little steep but that may also be the cheapskate in me.
Face Paint: I still haven't tried this with Victoria. I am not sure that she would sit still for that and it would be a matter of seconds before she would probably wipe her hand across her face and ruin it. I am sure Izzy would have sat there if she wasn't so interested in being with her cousins.
Corn kennels for digging: Very friendly for all involved. The kids LOVED digging in it, it was sooo cute. My brother buried Tori's legs and she thought it was about the funniest thing she has ever experienced. Sam was using the tools like she does it all the time, totally normal to just dig piles and piles of corn.
Pumpkin painting: We skipped this because Tori paints pumpkins all season long at home. It is so easy to stick her in her high chair and let her paint a pumpkin and she loves it.
Wagon rides: SO CUTE. The line moved fairly quickly (thankfully) so it wasn't as difficult to stand in line with the kids as I thought it would be. They liked going in the big circle, beeping the horn and being able to see each other from their wagons.
Slides: There were slides by the haystacks and there were caution signs that said "beware the slides are really fast"... and they weren't kidding. And then there were the huge blow up slides which Izzy enjoyed and Sam just kept butting in front of everyone in line but didn't actually get to go on.
Bounce house: The lady in charge of this said the kids were supposed to go into the entrance, bounce around a little and then come out of the back/exit. Try explaining that to toddlers. Izzy was fine and she was adorable trying to wrangle up her cousins but Tori and Sam just wanted to jump and fall.
THERE WAS NO RIDE TO PUMPKIN PICKING like I thought there would be. It said pumpkin picking but they literally meant like -here is a bunch of pumpkins on a shelf so pick one out- LOL. Which we did... I need to find one next year where you physically go to a pumpkin patch and pick off a pumpkin you want. That is so fun and cute.

Anywho, so overall on a scale of 1-10 (10 being the best) I would give Corn Cob Acres a 7.



 
 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

310 Glen Drive

Do you know what's fun? Showing up to a new listing appointment (with a couple you graduated from high school with)... and the husband brings out a picture of the two of your from 9th grade. And you remember memories as far back as the 8th grade with the two of them. Pretty wild. Now, all grown up.. I get to see them living their adult lives, working, getting ready to sell their first house and buy their 'family house'. The past is pretty wild and my God am I thankful I grew out of that awkward teenager stage.. Landbeast, if you are reading this.. get rid of that picture ASAP or I will place an Italian curse on you. So yeah and another cool thing about my job is reconnecting with people from the past and it feeling totally normal. Sort of like we have been friends/never lost touch this entire time.

Let me give you the deets and some pictures of this beautiful home:

-3 bedrooms/2 full bathrooms
-First floor master bedroom
-First floor laundry room
-Newly painted (great colors by the way, nothing too in your face)
-1 car garage
-HUGE closet in upstairs bedroom
-Northeastern school district
-Close to EVERYTHING (Giant, pizza, highways... you name it, its there)
 
Back of house:
 
Front of house:

 
Downstairs full bathroom, connected to master bedroom

 
Master bedroom, currently used as 'mancave':

 
1 car garage:

Kitchen:

 
Laundry area:

 
Living/Dining area:

 
Large bedroom on second floor:

 
Huge closet in second floor bedroom, this closet lines the entire wall:

 
third bedroom located upstairs:

 
upstairs full bathroom:

 
 
If you or anyone you know would like to schedule a private showing or has any questions regarding the home, please contact me at 717-332-4407 or arera@cbsp.com
 

Monday, October 6, 2014

When your husband sends you shopping for the afternoon

The other day Dan told me "Babe, be ready at 1:15 ish, I have a surprise for you!"
Me: "What do you mean be ready? Like I cant be wearing what I have on right now?"
(I was wearing workout pants and a hoodie)
Dan: "No, something you can wear in public"
(I had worn that outfit in public to market in the morning LOL)

And then the anxiety kicks in... "Babe, do I need something dressy? Casual? Are you coming with me? Is someone babysitting Tori? Do we have to take her somewhere? Is someone coming here?"

Finally, I twist his arm enough to tell me what his surprise was.
He said that the other day he was enjoying a cup of coffee out back while I was grocery shopping with Tori and he said it felt so good to just be able to enjoy his coffee without worrying.. "Is Tori eating something?" .."She just fell, is she ok?".. and he said it made him think about how that's what I have to do all day everyday and he wanted me to get a day to myself.

He called my bestie Courtney and arranged for us to have a Pedicure date and then we went to the mall and went shopping. I got a super cute shirt and a necklace. I couldn't believe how much I hated the mall on a Saturday afternoon LOL. I have been spoiled by being able to go during the day when its dead... yeah sure I may have to deal with a meltdown from my toddler but its better than dealing with all of the strangers lol. The best part was definitely the pedi and spending time with my bestie. We don't get much time just the two of us :) it was like old (sober) times.

I am so appreciative of my very thoughtful husband :)

Thursday, October 2, 2014

19 Months

I am going to write this as if Tori is not getting over pneumonia right now. Base it more off of her usual self, not her getting over being sick self.

So 19 months.

-This kid is funny. I am not kidding. I laugh so hard I cry.
-She tells us when she has gone #2. Even that is hilarious and cute. "Mom, poo poo" while she walks towards me and grabs her diaper.
-She only says "Mom" with a yelling tone of voice. "MOMMMMMMMMM". As of right now, I think its adorable and hilarious. (Surprise surprise, I think everything my child does is adorable).
-She loves to jump and has finally been able to catch a little air.
-She loves dogs. Loves, loves, loves them. The real thing, pictures of them, cartoons of them, stuffed animal dogs.. she does not discriminate. She lets my dog Kendra (much to my dismay) lick her right on the face all the time. She thinks its the funniest thing.
-She loves to kick and is really good at it!
-Her best friend is her cousin Isabella and our neighbor boy "Bubba". She wants to do whatever they are doing when she is around either of them. She recognizes them in pictures, asks to talk to them and see them.
-She is understanding us so much. We can ask her if shes hungry, where her shoes are, if she wants water... and she gets it. She will say yes or no.
-Her favorite snacks are goldfish and watermelon. The girl seriously loves to eat watermelon. I don't know if she would stop if I let her keep going.
-Tori only drinks water and is officially off of the bottle. We give her milk at bedtime in a sippy cup but other than that she doesn't really drink it. Its like she has deemed it her sleep drink so she cant drink it at all other than bedtime/naptime.
-She loves Daniel Tiger. She watches him for a little in the morning while Mommy blogs and drinks her coffee and then usually at either dinner time or right before bed.
-She says "no no" in the cutest little way. She points her little finger and looks right at you and shakes her little finger saying "no no" in the cutest, girliest voice ever.
-We have been getting to the library for toddler time about once a week but it has been pretty hit or miss. I like to go because when its a hit its really cute. They read a book and play with toys, etc and its FREE which is great.. and the library is beautiful. When toddler time is a miss (which is because its at 10:30am and she naps anywhere between 11 and 12.. so if its an 11am day then a meltdown usually happens).

So my girlfriend (or "Mommy's shadow" as Daddy likes to call her) is officially closer to a 2 year old than a 1 year old. That is weird. I can still remember the early nights, being so exhausted that I didn't know if I could physically make it through. All of the not knowing... am I doing this right? Is she getting enough to eat? Do I read to her enough? I didn't know how people choose to have more than one child (lol). And now here we are, 19 months later. We are doing so, so good and with every day that passes it is more and more obvious to me how much she and I were meant for each other.

My heart could explode it's so happy.
 



 
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