2013

New years eve is one of my favorite holidays. I love the idea of a new beginning, a fresh start. I know you don't actually need a  new year to start something new, but the idea of a clean slate coming with a new year makes me happy.

2013 was one of the best years of my life. Victoria was born (duh).. but her birth was so much more than her being born... if that makes any sense. With Tori's birth came a new me. I have truly never felt love like I have felt with having a child. I have also not known I could love my husband, my family, my friends... the way I do now. When you give birth, a piece of your heart is officially outside of your body.. it crawls, walks, stands, talks, laughs, cries. It also leaves a piece of your heart inside of you open. Open to love anyone. Open to not judge. Open to have a new found sense of care and community for those around you. I have never wanted to just take care of everyone the way I do now that I am a mother.

Dan and I are more of a team now than we ever have been. If I cook, he cleans.. if I put the baby to sleep, he throws the clothes in the wash... you get the picture. We are talking more, like really talking. We talk about the future, what we want to be as parents, what we want to be for each other, where we see ourselves in 20 years. As parents, we spend a lot more nights in than we do going out. I am so lucky to say we have enough fun with each other that that is totally ok. He is my best friend and if you're going to be stuck inside on a Friday night.. you want it to be with the person who makes you laugh harder than anyone you know, the person you can be a total whack-o in front of. My husband, my best friend.
He is the most amazing father. He looks at Tori in a way he looks at no one else. He is her protector, he adores her and the ground she walks on. They are lucky to have each other.

Professionally I had an awesome year. I am so appreciative of my brokerage, my colleagues, my clients. Everyone involved in my career has influenced me and have been so supportive.

2014 has some seriously awesome shoes to fill. I am SO excited for the possibilities. It is awesome to think that the BEST is even yet to come. Wishing everyone a healthy and happy holiday and  in the new year!

 

STANDING

My almost 10 month old is standing! AHHHH!

And by standing I mean she pulls herself up and stands. She will pull herself up in her pack n play, the couch, on me... it is so cute. She stands and looks so proud of herself.

"Look what I can do mom!"

I am so not ready for her to grow up. Me and Dan both said we feel like its just going too fast right now. You really only do get a short amount of time with your child as a little baby. A little tiny, squishy baby who just lays in the same spot and needs her parents to do everything for her. All of a sudden we have this little lady who crawls to get things she wants, stands... says "da da" ...  throws temper tantrums when she isn't happy with something.. eats pretty much anything, gets into everything..

I am so in love with parenting Victoria.

She was truly made for me. I am so happy <3

 

 

What would you do?

I cannot stop thinking about this show. For those of you who don't know what it is: its a show with hidden cameras... they put people (who have no idea) in situations where someone is getting harassed/bullied/etc (by paid actors) and see how these people would react. For example: the video I am sharing has someone harassing a woman and her daughter because the woman doesn't speak English. Some people do nothing, they hear the harassment, they see the harassment and they simply turn their head to it. Others stand up for the people, they give the bully their two cents, put the bully in his/her place. Another cool thing about the show is that there is a psychologist who watches the whole thing while its happening and basically talks about why she thinks the people in the situation reacted the way they did. She reads their body language, responds to how the people reacted, etc. I was so touched by the whole thing. Literally had tears in my eyes at some of the situations. There was a video of a boy with down syndrome working as a bagger at a grocery store and they had the actors make fun of him.. call him a retard, say they wish those kind of people didn't work with the public, etc.. the most amazing part of the peoples responses who did stand up for the kid was how eloquent some of them were. Like they just used really powerful words to get their points across which I thought was great. They weren't threatening (or not most of them anyways) and they were just proving their point and most of them just tried to make the bully get a reality check that that could have been their sibling, their child, etc.

I was TORTURED in middle school. It was legit the worst days of my life. I remember thinking I could not handle life if that's how it was going to be. It happened on the bus, in class, at lunch.. and it was always around people. No one stood up for me. No one said enough was enough. I was insecure with my frizzy big hair, round glasses, crooked teeth... I remember wishing someone would be my voice. I remember wishing someone would tell them to stop. Out of the handful of bullies there were, by the time I was in high school and prettier, thinner, with less acne (lol) they had let up and I was able to move on (mostly to another set of bullies which in high school is the mean girls).. but the one bully I had from middle school I never forgave. He was relentless. I literally never had a conversation with him after middle school. And then, a year after we graduated high school, he committed suicide. Wow. I have heard that bullies tend to have even lower self esteem than their victims and apparently that is true. He had his own battles inside of him that he was taking out on me. The things he said to me stuck with me for LIFE. I literally to this day remember everything. The names, where we would be, who it was that would stand there and laugh with him... most of his crew were never the ones to say anything, they were the ones who just stood there. The show brought me back to all of this and I had tears most of the time watching it.

My goal with Tori: to teach her to be the voice she can be for others. To teach her to understand that everyone is different. It doesn't matter if you are beautiful on the outside, you have to be beautiful on the inside. If you are not at peace with yourself, it is not up to you to bring others down with you. Not saying anything is as bad as being the bully. NEVER BE THE BULLY.

Words will stay with you for life, please parenting God... let me remember that as Tori's mom. Let me remember my words will stay with her, everything I say to her will effect her self esteem, she has to always know I am her number one fan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sam3deneMgk

CHANGE

I need a change.

New hair. A new outfit. A change of scenery. I don't know what sort of change but I need it. I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it in my scrunched up eyebrows, my tense shoulders, my tossing and turning in bed... my constant cracking of my knuckles.

Luckily we go to NY in a couple of weeks. Maybe the trip out of Lancaster for a few days will help.

I think that's it for my post today. My mind is going, going, going and I don't even know what else to say! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Molasses-Spice cookies

I made some pretty awesome cookies the other day. Dan isn't into chocolate much so I tried something different. I was told they tasted like a chewy ginger snap. Enjoy the recipe below! Let me know if you have any questions!

-2 cups of all purpse flour
-1.5 tsp baking soda
-1 tsp ground cinnamon
-.5 tsp of nutmeg
-pinch of salt
-1.5 cups of sugar
-1.5 sticks of butter
-1 egg
-1/4 cup of molasses

*preheat oven to 350 degrees
*In medium bowl whisk together flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. In a shallow bowl place 1/2 cup of the sugar.
*With an electric mixer beat butter and remaining cup of sugar. Beat in egg and molasses. Reduce speed to low, gradually mix in dry ingredients, until a dough forms (DOUGH IS VERY STICKY!)
*Pinch off and roll dough into tablespoon size balls and roll the balls in the reserved sugar
*Arrange balls on baking sheets about 3 inches apart. Bake cookies one sheet at a time until edges are firm (about 10-15 minutes..you can bake the cookies all at once but they might not crack evenly).
*Allow to cool on cookie racks

ENJOY

 



9 months

I am a few days late. Life has been crazy, busy and exciting. We have some things going on with the sale of our house right now that threw us for a loop (no its not anything bad and no its not sold yet). I will save the details of that for another post. Then with Thanksgiving and prepping for Christmas.. it is just nuts.

Victoria is 9 months old. At her 9 month doctor appointment she was 19lbs 8oz, 28in long. I cant believe my little peanut, who was born at 6lbs 11oz(then went down to 5lbs 11oz in a week).... is now almost 4x as big as she was at birth. Crazy. The swing that we use for Tori is a travel swing so its smaller than a normal swing, we have liked it because it is easy to take to different places... but now that Tori is so big, shes too big for the swing, like it literally doesn't swing when shes in it lol. Victoria is so smart and I swear there is something new with this lady going on every day. She is talking even more, trying to repeat words when we say them to her. Apparently she talks a LOT, we have had multiple people tell us they think she will be an early talker... hahaha I cant say that with me as her mother I am at all surprised. Tori is also getting a lot stronger. She now does the "downward dog" pose lol... she will get on her hands and knees then stretch out/lock her legs so shes a little triangle. It is hilarious and she looks right at you when she does it to make sure you are watching. Little lady hates socks and is very good at getting them off. No really, our game anywhere we go is to see how long it takes until Tori only has one sock on lol. Little lady is also taking a LOT more bumps to the head right now. She is getting strong but is still not completely stable so she will do things when she is sitting up like shake her head "no" as hard as she can and then will knock herself over. Or the whole downward dog thing, she tends to land face first on the floor then. Shes had a bruise on her forehead. Stupid hardwood floors. Victoria is also clapping now. I AM OBSESSED. It is soooo cute and the happiness in her face when shes doing it is priceless. 3 months until my baby is 1. I am going to start planning the party after the holidays.

To end the post...the pediatrician said to Dan and I on Monday that his biggest regret in parenting was not always taking time to do the small things with his kids. He said he wished he could go back in time, and the moments his daughter asked him to watch a movie, that he did that instead of mowed the lawn, that when his son asked him to play outside, he went and did that instead of watched the football game. I made a promise to Victoria and to myself to try to always remember that. When she is driving me crazy and wanting to play the same game over and over again and Id much rather read a magazine, that I play the game again. That when its raining outside and I hate the idea of being wet in my clothes.. I grab my daughter and we go outside and run around, playing in the rain.
Her happiness is everything to me. I will always remember that.. raising her to be happy, to always be a friend to others, to always be grateful for what she has..& to give her childhood memories she will cherish forever. Those are my goals as a mother.

Victoria Luna, 9 months until forever, you will always be my baby.

 

 

Holiday season is officially here!

The holiday season is officially underway this week. Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Black Friday shopping on Friday. Christmas cards have been ordered. Ugly Christmas sweater party has been scheduled. Christmas decorations will be up this weekend. Days will be filled with family & friends. Hats and gloves are out and waiting for snow! I love this time of year!

I especially love that I will be sharing this holiday season with my husband and our baby.

Everything is sweeter when you share it with your child.

 

I am so thankful for so many things. I am thankful for these things everyday, even if I don't take the time to say it out loud everyday. Good health, my wonderful husband, my beautiful baby girl, our warm home, my job, my family, my friends.

 

I hope everyone has an awesome Thanksgiving.

 

I plan on eating until I am going to explode and then cuddling and napping with my baby girls.

 

 



Odd shaped room

So as of right now, the sale of our house is at a stand still. The house is PERFECT for a couple or family just starting out, now its a matter of finding those right buyers who are looking for a home in the city.
Until then, I am going crazy trying to think of how to give us more room. Our living room is a really ODD shape. Its long and skinny just like the rest of the house. Right now we sort of have the room broken into two rooms. One half we have the couches and tv... the other half we have the computer and pack n play. See below. Behind the couch there is a pack and play, Tori's jumper and the computer.

This is where I need help.

 

We have decided to put the computer/computer desk upstairs in the guest room. This will save us room down here and honestly we don't really use the desktop computer much so as of right now, it really is just taking up space. That will open up one corner of the room significantly. Im not sure how much this will actually help us with re arranging the room though because it doesnt change the shape of the room lol. So as of right now, our next idea is one couch in front of the window, one couch along the right side (where you currently see the dvd case) and then moving the tv to the left side (by the fireplace).

 

If you see a way you think I can rearrange to make this room more open,

please let me know! I need help!

November is busy, duh

Seriously, I know I say this all the time. But life for the Rera's is busy. Busy and fast.
Last weekend Dan and I went to Scranton for a wedding for his dear friend Ryan and his fiancé(now wife) Erin. It was a freaking blast. When Dan was in college he was in a fraternity. The friends he made there are literally brothers to him. Alan, Harry, Regan, Trevor, Joe... he is so lucky that from his fraternity he has taken more best friends then most people get in their whole life, let alone just from college. Move onto me and Dan and I am very lucky and happy to say they treat me like a bff too. I laugh SO hard when I am with them all and I love seeing them interact. It is so sweet seeing Dan let loose, watching them all do what guys do.. you know, make fun of each other relentlessly. I have gotten to see Erin and Ryan(aka Regan) as they dated, going into engagement and now into a married couple. All of the guys were at this wedding. They had a HUGE bridal party and on top of that they are friends with everyone... literally everyone. I feel like everyone says that same thing about me and Dan but it is especially true with Regan and Erin. They are hilarious and seriously get along with everyone so they had a lot of guests who were  there to support them and ready to party. They had an awesome fireworks display, good food, lots of alcohol and everyone also stayed in the same hotel (which transportation was provided for) so even after the wedding the party continued. Not for me of course lol.. Tori slept at my parents house overnight, so we had a perfectly good sitter, we knew she was completely safe and taken care of... but that did not change that this mom cannot hang like she used to lol. I was one of the first people to go to the room and go to sleep after the wedding. I apparently missed an awesome after party at the pool lol. All I know is that there was pizza and wings there. So yeah, Im upset.
This past weekend Dan had a class because he is taking life insurance/financial advising classes right now. The school districts are so messed up financially lately and him being a gym/health teacher.. he wants a back up plan in case his district makes more teaching cuts. That needs a whole other post itself so that's all Ill say for now.
Since Daddy had class, Tori and I just hung out at the house Friday night and then Madelyn came over to hang.. Saturday Tori and I went to Dream dinners with Courtney and I showed Courtney a house... and then we went to Stauffers for a cheese festival they had. Dan and I have gone to it before and we are obsessed. I LOVE cheese lol and this cheese festival thing is free and you literally walk around to different cheese stands and taste test any cheese you can think of. Tori got to enjoy it this year and we met up with Meg (fellow cheese lover) and Ray. It was actually a lot of fun LOL.. which may sound weird because hello it was just us walking around at a grocery store.. but it was awesome lol. Sunday we did family pictures with my whole family at Rocky ridge park in York. It was me, Dan, Tori, my parents, Banana, Kenny, Sami, Stink, Summer, Izzy and my Mammy. My friend Mallory (who did our engagement, wedding and newborn pictures) and her bf Joe did our pictures and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM. Everyone looked wonderful, they did a lot of fun poses for us and although it was windy it was a pretty day. We got pictures of my Mammy with all 3 great grand babies, each family individually, my parents with us kids,with the grand babies.. and then all 3 girls together for pictures just them. It was ADORABLE. They were sitting on this blanket and Tori was eating leaves, Sami would yell, Izzy would laugh, I cannot wait to see how they turn out. The interaction between the 3 of them is amazing!

Have a wonderful week!

 

8 months

My baby girl is 8 months old! She scoots, talks a lot, loves her daddy, will grab anything within reach and has the best laugh I have ever heard.

 

She seriously cracks up when she laughs, her entire little face scrunches up and she laughs to the point of screaming. Mommy makes her laugh the most and I love that. I love that she associates me with safety, comfort, trust and laughter. Those 4 things have been some of the most important qualities I have wanted to give Victoria as her mother.

 

The sun rises and sets on this child. My child. My perfect girl.

 

 

Sweat-A-Fit

I am on the board for an event called Sweat-A-Fit. It is an awesome workout event that raises money for different local charities. My friend Megan (also known as my Maid of honor and bff) heads the whole thing and she is awesome. She is someone who is VERY committed to living a healthy/fit lifestyle and very committed to educating others in the benefits of doing that for you and your family. Money raised has gone towards things like Daniel's Den (a park for handicapped children), IU 13 (money went towards gym equipment for Lebanon/Lancaster School districts) and this year the money raised will go towards Lancaster's Boys and girls club.

A little on the girls and boys club:
"The Mission of Boys & Girls Club of Lancaster is to enable all young people, especially those who need us most, to become productive, caring, responsible adults. We provide an environment where members can achieve: Positive self identity, a healthy lifestyle, a strong character, educational success and social competency".

Deets on the event:
You can register for up to 8 hours of events including: Zumba, Yoga and/or Indoor cycle. You do NOT have to register for the whole 8 hours. You can register for however long YOU want to do. You can also break up the 8 hours worth of events you want to do. For example, you could do 2 hours of zumba, 2 cycle, 2 yoga... 6 zumba, 1 yoga, 1 cycle... 2 zumba and go home. The cost for students is $15, non students $30..you can also make a team and we encourage raising more money but that is up to you. Snacks, lunch and drinks are provided. These things are donated from various restaurants, stores, etc. The first 100 registrants get a free t shirt and goody bag. We also run a raffle where you can buy tickets and try to win different prizes and we also give door prizes. The event is held at Millersville University in their huge, beautiful new gym.

I cannot stress enough how fun the whole day is. Everyone is SO energetic, enthusiastic and has the best time. We all run around like crazy singing, dancing, and trying to keep each other all pumped up for the long day. Let me know if you have ANY questions!

 REGISTRATION IS OPEN RIGHT NOW! GO SIGN UP! I PROMISE YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!

WWW.SWEAT-A-FIT.COM

The new normal

Yesterday Dan said to me "I finally feel like things are normal again".

 

He is SO right. We have moved on from feeling like we are babysitting someone else's child, feeling like we have no idea what we are doing, the feeling of not knowing how we are going to make it on 3 hours of sleep, the constant questioning of how we are doing as parents.

 

Our girl is beautiful, sweet, happy and smart.

I think we are doing alright.

 

 

Victoria Luna, our everything

 

A breakfast/dessert and dinner recipe!

Homemade Banana muffins and Vanilla Icing

 

Muffins:

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour                                                                     

1 teaspoon baking powder                                                                     

1 teaspoon baking soda                                                                     

1/2 teaspoon salt     

2-3 bananas

3/4 cup white sugar

1 egg

1/3 cup melted butter   

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prep muffin pan/tins. Sift together all dry items. Mix all wet items. Combine everything together. Scoop into pans, cook for 30 minutes.

NOTE: You can add chocolate chips, walnuts etc. Also, if you would like to make the muffins healthy you can sub applesauce and sweet n low. AS IS the muffins come out to 180 calories per muffin. Not bad!

Icing:

2 cups powdered or confectioners sugar

2 tablespoons melted butter

2 tablespoons milk

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Combine ingredients and beat on medium speed until smooth and fluffy. (Yes, its really THAT easy lol) Note: obviously the icing is optional. You can skip the icing and the muffins are still really moist!

Beef and Potato Casserole
( I am making this for dinner, its in the crockpot right now)

 

Ingredients:

6-8 potatoes (peel and cut into cubes)

2 carrots (chopped into slices)

1 can of peas

1 cup of cheddar cheese

1 lb of ground beef

1 10oz can of cream of chicken soup

1 onion (diced)

 

*Brown the ground beef, in crockpot: Layer ground beef, potatoes, onions, carrots, peas and cheese. There should be enough to have at least 2-3 layers. Once everything is in crockpot, Top with cream of chicken soup. Cook high 4-6 hours or low 8-10!

7 months

My daughter is 7 months old.

I repeat.. my daughter is 7 months old.

When did this happen?

 

When did my little 6lb baby girl who was so tiny and smelled like newborn and wore teeny tiny clothes that looked like they were made for a doll turn into this wild, free spirited little 7 month old?

At 7 months old, Tori....

 

*LOVES to bounce in her jumper *screams with delight *tries to turn herself away from me when I pick her up so that she can get down *rolls all over the place *reaches and grabs things intentionally *can sit up and splash in the bathtub *eats anything mushy *loves music *acts shy and bashful around people she doesn't see often *pinches *grabs Riley *sucks her thumb *weighs a little over 18lbs *is somehow even more perfect than ever

 

 

 

 

It is crazy to me that she is officially closer to 1 year old than she is to the fresh out of the oven newborn that she was. Crazy to me that I will be planning her first birthday party in a few short months. Victoria Luna, you my baby girl, are my best friend. I love you more than anything in the whole wide world and thank my lucky stars everyday to have you in my life... yes, even when you pull mommy's hair and laugh as I scream.

 

WELCOME FALL

I am so so so so excited for Fall season to be here. There is nothing better to me than cool weather, sweaters, leggings, coffee, tea, apple cider, pumpkin beer, pumpkin food, football, Sunday funday, pumpkin patches, corn mazes, apple picking. The list goes on and on. I love being outside during the fall. The smell of fresh, chilly air.. seriously, LOVE IT.
This fall season is especially fun and exciting because we have our sweet, sweet Victoria to enjoy it with. A baby in cozy pajamas... don't get me started lol. This week we are going apple picking and in another couple of weeks we are going to go to a corn maze with friends and then we are going to a pumpkin patch. I am so happy that Tori has her cousin Isabella to do all of these fun fall things with. I also love that there are so many baby friendly things we can do. Every fall there is a Harvest breakfast event held at market in downtown Lancaster and its one of the best days of the year lol. I LOVE breakfast foods (whoa I am using caps a lot lol)and I love market.... and this event is an outdoor homemade/fresh made breakfast event downtown. HELLO.. favorite. things. ever. So as you can see, our next couple of weekends are filling up quickly.
Tori is being a pumpkin for Halloween. Ok, I know, totally predictable but hello she will be 8 months old.. she wont be 'real' trick or treating, she will just be along for the ride with cousin Izzy. Ill be more creative next year.
While on the topic of Tori: She is awesome. SO happy. The past couple of nights shes been sleeping great too, in bed at 8pm and sleeping until about 6:30am. She still has bad nights here and there but I really cant complain because she overall is doing great. She loves her jumper. She is such a wild woman, when shes in there she jumps up and down so fast and just cracks up laughing. SO CUTE. While she is in there I sing "jump, jump, jump, jump, jump" but in the rhythm of the song "Shots" by LMFAO and she goes so fast haahaha I love it. She is also still rolling around like a little wild woman. Shes our baby ninja. Hm.. she also loves food. I have been trying to give her tastes of anything she doesn't need to chew. The other morning Dan made eggs and potatoes. I smashed up the potato and was giving her a few bites, she really liked it. What else... hm... she is sitting up a little more, still not completely on her own for too long but she is definitely getting stronger. She also is SO into Riley right now. She gets so happy when she sees her and she will just stare at her and watch anything shes doing. I think they are going to become great friends.
Next week little lady will be 7 months old, officially closer to 1 than to a newborn. AH!

Black pepper beef and cabbage stir fry

At least once or twice a week I try to make it a point to make something for dinner. Dan is the cook in our house. He is 1-much better at it(I cannot just mix things together and create something yummy like he can) 2-a foodie 3-cares about it way more(If I had to eat pizza everyday I would be ok with it) 4-more creative(Ill try new things... but usually only if I am made to lol).

Dan loves chicken and I get freaked out by it...so when I do cook, I normally stick with beef, steak..red meat. Call me crazy but this is a true story: When I was in the 6th grade, everyone LOVED chicken patty lunch at school.. like legit loved it. So one day I decided I would try it, I bit into my chicken patty and THERE WAS A VEIN IN MY CHICKEN PATTY.

I have not looked at chicken the same ever since.

So anywho, back to the red meat thing.. when I cook, its basically with beef. I tried a new recipe tonight and it was really good & not heavy at all so I thought Id share!

*2-4 cloves of garlic
*1/2-1lb of ground beef
*1/2 head of cabbage
*1/2-1 whole zuchinni (sliced)
*2 tablespoons (or more, its really to taste) of soy sauce
*ground black pepper

-Heat skillet, sauté garlic, add ground beef. Brown beef, stir in cabbage, black pepper and zuchinni. Cook until vegetables are tender and beef is fully cooked. Stir in soy sauce. Serve over rice :)

Apx 300 calories per serving

Vince

This past week my family got some terrible news. My "baby" cousin (who was 20 and towered me) died in a motorcycle accident.

Sad. Scared. Anxious. Depressed. Heartbroken. Shocked.

Everyone knows death is final. My head knows that, but you don't truly understand just how final it is until you experience death and remember all of the things that will never be again. No one will get a hug from Vince, a kiss, hear his voice, laugh with/at him, see his smile, watch what his venture into adulthood would bring.
I am sure that becoming a mom has made this whole thing hit me harder. When I got the news of Vince's death I was holding my sweet girl in my arms and feeding her. She was looking up at me so confused when I started crying. I instantly was looking at her and kept thinking to myself, I could never live without her. Now that I have met her and she has so easily fit into my life and heart, I have a spot in my heart that only she fills. If anything ever happened to her, my heart would stop. I know it. I started thinking of my cousin Fran, Vince's mom. She carried this sweet boy in her belly for 9 months, took care of him for 20 years.. made him be nice to his two sisters, taught him how important treating people well is, how important doing well in school was, a first crush, getting his drivers license, graduating high school, and now, she will never get to see what the future was going to hold for that sweet boy. Life is just beginning at the age of 20. Really, you have not truly experienced a life until then. That is when the excitement is starting to begin. Deciding what you want to do for a career, getting your own place, building new adult relationships... these are all things that Fran is not going to see Vince do and I am sure these are things she has dreamed about for him. I have already dreamed of a future for Victoria. I have already dreamed of watching her grow into a sweet girl who sticks up for her friends, loves school and loves spending time with her mommy and daddy. I have dreamed of her as a confident young lady who stands up for what she believes in, has high goals for herself and surrounds herself with others who are the same. I dream of  her as a woman who is happy, who has the best memories of her childhood, cherishes her relationship with her family and is building her own.
I know everyone only says good things about people when they pass (as they should).. and Vince is true to all of the good things people have said. He was a typical boy & some of my best memories of him are him and my brother annoying the crap out of me lol. He smiled all the time, had a ton of friends, everyone loved Vince. He was one of the most easy going spirits who got along with everyone. My cousin Fran lost her brother 12 years ago in a freak drowning accident when he was 19, and now to lose her son at the age of 20...I don't know how she is going to get through this.
I am not a religious person so I don't normally ask people to pray for anyone but when it comes to Fran, I cant imagine there is anything in this world that will make her feel better or strong right now, so please keep her, Vince's father and his two sisters in your thoughts/prayers as they try to make sense of their lives right now.

Below: The 3 stooges

 

Vince with his sisters Martina and Sara (his graduation)

GO TO SLEEP KID!

I must have lived in fantasy land for the first couple of months Victoria was born. Or maybe it wasn't fantasy land, it was sleep-deprived-I-am-only-getting-by-because-of-my-new-mom-adrenaline land. I was convinced Tori would be sleeping through the night by 6 months. I would have swore it on anything. The kid is not a bad sleeper, shes really not.. she gets up once in the middle of the night and then again at either 6-7am for the day. That still isn't as good as if she were sleeping through the night. When she was a few weeks ago and waking up every 2 or 3 hours I feel like that almost wasn't as hard on me because I never really got into a deep sleep vs now, her getting up after a solid 5 hours or so... it kills me to get out of bed. Last night when she woke up, I laid in bed and felt so, so awful as I sat there thinking "please go to sleep, please go to sleep"... I had myself so worked up I literally thought I was going to cry. I felt like I would have given my left arm to not have to get out of bed. And then it hits me.. mom guilt. Am I an awful mom that I try to savor those nights with her but then there are nights like last night where I just want her to be 2 and sleeping all night? I HATE to wish time away, and I HATE how I feel after I think to myself that I do want the time to fly by. To think of the day where Tori doesn't have that perfect infant smell, where she isn't making her silly noises as she is trying to learn how to say words, where she doesn't bury her head into my chest, where she doesn't let me carry her around in my bjorn like a baby kangaroo, that just kills me. She is everything to me, and the fact that she is 6 months old already makes me sad... and then exhausted me doesn't appreciate this time in her life. I need to remember to breathe. Before Tori was born, Dan and I both agreed that one thing we hope we would do better than our parents did was be patient, we even said we should get a tattooed permanent reminder that we need to patient, not only with our child, but ourselves and each other. I think that tattoo is looking more and more like a good idea!

Another sitch that doesn't have anything to do with sleep: The beach. Every summer for like 4 summers now, Dan and I have gotten the chance to go to the beach for free with our friends. It is always by far one of the best things about the summer. We have that opportunity again this year. Dan is planning to go for the whole weekend, and I originally was planning on just going one night. One night would mean me driving separately, me being tired when I have to get up early. Two nights would mean getting to be there the whole weekend with everyone, driving with everyone and most importantly: having Friday afternoon-Sunday afternoon with my husband, that is time together that we do not get. I feel like I should take advantage of that. My mom would be keeping Tori. I know she does a great job with Victoria, she keeps a close eye on her and loves time with her. The control freak in me doesn't want anyone else putting my child to sleep, rocking her, feeding her, because obviously no one would do it as good as I would, right? That is my recent dilemma. Decisions, decisions.

Summer has come and gone

We have had the best summer. Seriously. We had a ton of stuff to do which definitely got overwhelming with a baby but it was fun stuff that has made this summer a record breaking fastest summer since Dan and I have been together. The weddings, family trips, anniversary, birthdays... we have decided we cannot make any more friends lol.

I am excited for fall. A season of pumpkin everything! Pumpkin beer, pumpkin pie, pumpkin coffee creamer, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin picking, pumpkin carving.. you get the drift lol. Pumpkin is my favorite flavor in the whole wide world and fall weather is my favorite.. which is why fall is my favorite season. I am definitely dressing Tori up for Halloween because we will go trick or treating with Isabella (and hopefully Sami), Dan and I wanted to dress her as a turtle (we call her our baby turtle) but the costume is sort of expensive and I def wont spend more than $20 on a costume for her.

Today is Dan's first day of school with students. He is so excited to be back to teaching high school again so I am really excited for him. Teaching high school students is getting him back to a place where he is doing something he loves to do. Teaching students about health and fitness, and the students being old enough to actually understand and participate.

In Tori world: She is rolling around like crazy.. I lay her in one place and if I leave the room for a few minutes she will be on the other side of the room in no time. Victoria has also found her voice. This can be really cute, like when she is laughing for example and it can also be a total pain when she decides that for no reason at all she is just going to scream on the top of her lungs.. you know, for the sake of screaming. Victoria's sleep is mostly good and she wakes up about once in the middle of the night... sometimes she just wants her pacifier and sometimes she needs to be fed.. and she still has the occasional tough night where she just doesn't want to sleep. I am really trying to be patient and savor the middle of the night time with her. This is much easier said than done when I am exhausted after a long day but her hitting the 6 month milestone has hit me. She will be sitting up and crawling before I know it and then we will be planning her first birthday party. I just said to Dan yesterday, after Tori had just woke up from a nap and was just so sweet cuddling on me and so happy... that it still seems surreal to me that I have a husband and a baby... like, is this really my life?

I am so lucky!

 

 

House for sale!

That's right, the Rera's are selling our house. It is so weird being on the other side of a home sale. I definitely understand the stress that comes along with selling a home and I would say the whole process of selling is more stressful than of buying. What if we don't sell? What if we have to take a really low offer? What if we lose money on the house? What if we sell really quickly and don't have a house to move into? The actual moving part.. the finding a good fit for our family... theres a lot to this stuff.
Why we are selling: it is very simple, we are outgrowing our home. Victoria's things have taken over the house and if I am not tripping over a play mat or swing then I am tripping over Riley, her dog bed, her toys, etc. I need more space. We always knew this was not our forever home. Dan actually bought this house when we had only been dating about 3 months so it was more of a first home for a single guy which can eventually turn into a married couples home and a small family home. We have hardwood floors, central air, a fenced in yard, off street parking.. for a city home, we couldn't have a better house.
The search: We are looking mostly in Manheim Township school district and Hempfield SD. Both are great schools and great locations. Manheim Twp isn't too far out of the city which we spend a lot of time in so that would be great and Hempfield is out towards York a little more which is also another place we spend a lot of time at (with my family there and I also work real estate there) so that would be a good location too. I am looking for more than 1 bathroom (ideally 2 full).. an open floor plan, I LOVE eat in kitchens and I love when you can see the kitchen from the living room lol... and at least 3 bedrooms... and a basement that is either finished or can be... and a garage.. that isn't too much, right? lol! I will keep all posted on house selling progress and house buying process!

Mema, Mammy and New York

I have been absent for weeks. Keeping up with a blog is hard. Life is busy. Being a mother and wife has 100% consumed my life and I love it.

This past week Dan and I took Tori on her first long road trip. We went to Long Island where Dans very small family lives. We have gone every year twice a year since we started dating. Once over the summer and once over Christmas. Christmas in New York is so beautiful.
This was the second time Dans Mema(his grandma) and his Aunt Maggie have met Tori but the first time his uncle and two cousins have. It was so, so sweet seeing how much they love her and how excited they were to spend the week with her. It is amazing how much love comes with family. Having Tori gives me an appreciation for her family loving her and giving her attention. I love seeing her be kissed, hugged, cuddled. My sweet girl is loved! We got to go to this bakery that Dan, his bro and his dad have gone to for a million years in New York. Dan and I even got a date night as our Aunt Maggie so graciously offered to watch Victoria for us. Dan and I went to a small town in LI called Patchogue where we went for sushi and got drinks. It was awesome, some of the best sushi we have had and accompanied with a chocolate martini for me and a beer for Dan, doesn't get better than that.
Dan's Mema is a very special person to him. She just adores her children and grandchildren. That obviously has extended now to Victoria, me and my sister in law, Taylor and anyone else that her family cares and loves about. She is a wonderful woman and I am so thankful Dan has had her in his life. He adores her more than words can describe.
Now on to my Mammy.
My grandma also happens to be one of the most special people in the world to me. She lost her father a year or so ago and her mother had been in a nursing home the past 5 years. She was getting progressively worse as old age had caught up to her. Everything from alzheimers to not being able to eat anything other than puree etc. My grandma was visiting her in the nursing home about every other day or so, feeding her, bathing her, talking to her. She also would chat with her roommate who she shared her room with for most (possibly all) of the years she had been living there. My great gma passed away this past Saturday. My Mammy seems to be holding up ok as it was expected that this day was coming shortly because my great gma had even more issues come up recently. One thing that happened after she passed was while my Mammy was in the nursing home, she was cleaning out my great gmas room etc and her roommate asked my Mammy to please keep visiting her and my Mammy promised she would. That whole story brought tears to my eyes. My gma is soooo that person, the one who is so sweet and reaches out to everyone she can. That person who would take small gifts to her mothers nursing home roommate so she was never left out. That person who always has something nice to say about everyone, etc. She has lived a crazy life, has been through so, so much.. and is still just such a wonderful person. I just adore her.