Wednesday, May 27, 2015

the one at 13.5 weeks and a scare

This post is a bit on the TMI side but hey.. if I am being honest and not just showing the -fluffy- good stuff in life, then what is the point of a blog?
I had a huge scare yesterday but all is ok now so I can talk about it.
Yesterday morning I headed to York for a real estate appointment. Days in York usually means I get some time with my Momma which is always fun. We had lunch and a shopping day planned. After my appointment, we go to Cracker Barrel as it is close to my new listing and Dan hates any chain restaurant so I am able to go to one when hes not along (lol). We are waiting in line to be seated and I thought I laughed too hard or something and had a trinkle. LOL. Ladies, you know how it is... it happens sometimes when you are pregnant. Or after you have given birth. Of course Tori didn't want me to go to the bathroom alone and I end up taking her with me. I go to the bathroom, look down and the most terrifying sight: blood. A lot of it. I must have had it written all over my face, as soon as I come out of the bathroom I tell my mom we have to go right now, I am bleeding and need to call the dr. When we walk out of the door of the restaurant I just lose it. Im crying and shaking and every terrible thought you can imagine is going through my mind. Having just had a miscarriage in October, that was the first thing that came to mind. But how could I be having a miscarriage at almost 14 weeks?! The dr told me once you make it to your second trimester you are 95% likely to complete the pregnancy. This couldn't be happening. How would I tell everyone? Would we try again? Could I put myself through this again? Every. worst. possible. thought.
My mom kept Tori for me and Dan was able to leave school and meet me at triage. I could not even kind of fathom hearing any bad news by myself. We were scared. We could not be losing this baby but what else could it be? Why would I bleed this much? What can we do?
After about an hour and a half of lots of waiting (seriously why do Emergency rooms suck and why are they so slow?!) a nurse came in and said she wanted to listen to the heartbeat. She told me not to freak out if she couldn't find one they would do an internal and try that way. She tried for a minute or two and me and Dan were just sitting there looking at each other so scared and I kept thinking about how we have heard the heartbeat a couple of times already when nurses have used that same device so she just had to find the heartbeat.
Fast forward two minutes or so and a couple of adjustments and there it is... our sweet, beautiful baby's heartbeat. Such a huge relief. Dan kept saying he couldn't believe it. We were both getting prepared for the worst case scenario but there it was, in all of its little baby glory, a sweet, sweet heartbeat. Thank you God.
We were both so relieved and then still worried about what was wrong. By the time the Dr came in and checked me all out (3 hours after we got there) she said everything looked great. My cervix was thick (no sign of miscarriage or anything of that sort) and since the nurse found the heartbeat she "wasn't worried". REALLY?! But yep.. the Dr said a lot of women bleed when they are pregnant and a lot bleed throughout the entire pregnancy. They are only worried at all if you are bleeding so much that it is through a pad (again, sorry for the TMI). She said there is no definite reason for why women bleed. Could be stress, sex, too much exercise, too much running around, too much anything. The resolve from this was to take off work/the gym for a couple of days and just take it easy. I am already feeling much better today. The bleeding has let up. It is still there but barely. Definitely not like yesterday.
I really debated posting about this but the fact is, this will probably be our last pregnancy and this is all a part of the story of our baby #2. The baby that I keep telling Dan is going to be the chill and go with the flow child. But if yesterday was any indication of their temperament, we may have our work wayyyyyyy cut out for us! Please prayers our way as I am feeling better and hopefully the rest of this pregnancy is smooth. This weekend is 14 weeks!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

the one with my four biggest guilty pleasures

1. Any and everything Kardashian. I'm sorry people. They are beautiful. They are filthy rich. They travel a lot. They are a "regular" family in a lot of ways. They have dirty mouths. The Fashion. The fashion. Did I mention, the fashion? Their homes. Their private chefs. Private planes. Daily makeup and hair stylists. They let people see everything. I try to explain it to Dan that its just so intriguing to me to watch people who have no limits.

2. The Real Housewives of NJ/Orange County. This is like a down graded version of the Kardashians for me. These women are rich, but not Kardashian rich. They have lots of money and beautiful clothes and nannies for their kids. They spend afternoons shopping and working out for hours on end. The boob jobs, the nose jobs. The drama. Dan asks me how I can sit and watch women b*tch at each other for an hour straight.. and my reply to that is that my life is about as drama free as it comes. You know, if you don't include my two year old and her drama fests. Its interesting to me to watch what makes people mad or upset and then even more interesting to see how they handle those feelings and how it affects those around them. Im a therapist at heart.

3. Tanning. I haven't tanned in years. I have officially made the switch to the spray tan once I got pregnant with Tori but my gosh I miss it. The relaxation of being in a hot bed for 10 minutes, the fan on you.. and seriously, EVERYONE LOOKS BETTER TAN.

4. Facebook. Say what you will, I know it can be annoying, people over share, people complain a lot, people tell you really random things you don't care about.. but I really do love it. I love the connection, I love getting to know people better. I love pictures. I love seeing people be successful. I like feeling that I am easily accessible to everyone.

 
DONT JUDGE ME
 
 


Sunday, May 17, 2015

the one where Im 12 weeks along

Surprise! So we are having another baby. I'm so excited.
For anyone who has been following the blog, you know I miscarried back in October. It was a tough time and I wasn't sure how long it would really be until we were ready to try again but it only took a few months to mentally and physically get back to where we were ready to give growing our family another chance.
Luckily, as times before.. we had no problem. I found out in March I was pregnant after only 2 months of not trying but not-not trying. I took a pregnancy test upstairs and didn't tell Dan I was taking it and then came downstairs and told him while he was making us dinner in the kitchen. We were both so happy.. nervous, scared.. excited... worried. All of the usual emotions happen when you find out your pregnant no matter how many times it has happened.
Finding out the baby is due on November 29th made the pregnancy feel like it was so meant to be. That is Dans birthday and its fun thinking I am due with our second baby on his bday.

So the details:

How far along: 12 weeks!
Total weight gain: 3 lbs
Maternity clothes: I am wearing my regular clothes right now but they are definitely getting tight around my midsection. I am definitely showing faster this time around.
Stretch marks: Not yet, its still early. I got a few on my hips while pregnant with Tori so I am hoping I wont get more than that but I guess time will tell. I started using cocoa butter the second I found out I was pregnant.
Sleep: I haven't slept in months. Pregnancy doesn't make that better.
Best moment of this week: Making the pregnancy social media official. I love making myself available to people via facebook, instagram, blogging. I love the connection. It was really exciting to share with everyone.
Miss anything: I already miss alcohol. There have been a few really hot nights where I have seriously wanted to chug a beer.
Movement: Nothing yet, still too early.
Food cravings: N/A
Anything making you queasy or sick: Chipotle which used to be my favorite place EVER. I literally cant even think about eating there without gagging.. -currently gagging lol-
Have you started to show yet: Yep (earlier this time around)
Gender: TBA
Labor signs: Thankfully no!
Belly button in or out: In
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Neither. Exhausted.
Looking forward to: A REAL baby bump and movement!

Friday, May 8, 2015

the one about being a mom

In honor of Mothers Day this weekend, I thought I would post about some things that being a mother means to me.

-Being a mother means laughing at yourself. CONSTANTLY.
-Being a mother means accepting the fact that you will make mistakes. All the time.
-It means always putting someone else before yourself.
-It means protecting your child with everything in your soul.
-It means watching the same Disney movie over and over again because it makes your baby so happy and you will do anything to make her happy.
-It means singing on the top of your lungs because your baby asked you to & it makes her smile.
-It means eating whatever you can throw together after you give your baby the last of the strawberries and peanut butter.
-It means hanging out outside for hours and hours because your baby is an outdoorsy girl and she loves playing outside.
-It means loving your husband more than you ever thought possible
-It means your heart growing with love more than you knew was possible
-It means having a lot of human fluids on you.. pee, poop, vomit, you name it and it will be on your face or hands
-It means learning how to run on zero sleep.
-It means getting another chance to see the world all over again.
-It means wanting to help others.
-It means loving all children, how innocent they are, how they are the next generation, how they have their whole life ahead of them.

Being a mommy is hard. There are days I want to rip my hair out of my head. Days where I want to sleep the day away.
And then.. more often than not, there are the amazing days. Where Tori and I laugh all day long, we play, we sing, we read, we watch movies, we go to the park.. we talk about life. She knows everything about me... inside (literally lol) and out.
The love of a mother and child.. unconditional and amazing.
I am so happy, proud and blessed to get to do life as a mommy to my sweet, sweet girl.

Happy Mothers Day everyone!
 
 

Saturday, May 2, 2015

the one where I make the BEST soup ever

This soup was seriously amazing, I ate it for dinner (2 bowls) and then even had some for lunch the next day. It was also EASY... and I had everything I needed for it right in my fridge :) Try it, you wont be disappointed!

Ingredients:
-Premio Sausage (I used a mix of the spicy and sweet... you can make this soup healthier by using chicken sausage)
-Apx. 6 cups of chicken broth (You can use low sodium)
-A bunch of kale
-2-3 Russet potatoes
-Whole milk/heavy cream (whichever you have around)
-Onion powder
-Red chili pepper flakes
-Salt/Pepper to taste after soup is finished

How to:
-I squeezed the sausage out of the casing and fried it in a frying pan. I let it cook through (but not too well done) and then added the kale to the pan.. I then cooked both of those things together until the kale was wilting and the sausage was cooked even more.
-While that was cooking I sliced potatoes thin. (Note: I did not remove the skin off of the potatoes, wanted the extra nutrients)
-I then transferred the sausage/kale to the crockpot.
-Top the sausage and kale with the potatoes and throw on the listed seasonings.
-Fill your crockpot mostly up with the chicken broth(apx 5 cups) and then top with some water(1/2 cup).
-Let cook through until your potatoes are cooked (I did 6 hours)
-Put a splash of milk or heavy cream to make the soup a little thicker and change the color a bit and let cook for another 20 minutes or so (enough just to get the milk/heavy cream hot)

*We bought a really good loaf of Italian bread from Giant's bakery to use for dipping

ENJOY... AND YOU'RE WELCOME :)





 
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