2013

New years eve is one of my favorite holidays. I love the idea of a new beginning, a fresh start. I know you don't actually need a  new year to start something new, but the idea of a clean slate coming with a new year makes me happy.

2013 was one of the best years of my life. Victoria was born (duh).. but her birth was so much more than her being born... if that makes any sense. With Tori's birth came a new me. I have truly never felt love like I have felt with having a child. I have also not known I could love my husband, my family, my friends... the way I do now. When you give birth, a piece of your heart is officially outside of your body.. it crawls, walks, stands, talks, laughs, cries. It also leaves a piece of your heart inside of you open. Open to love anyone. Open to not judge. Open to have a new found sense of care and community for those around you. I have never wanted to just take care of everyone the way I do now that I am a mother.

Dan and I are more of a team now than we ever have been. If I cook, he cleans.. if I put the baby to sleep, he throws the clothes in the wash... you get the picture. We are talking more, like really talking. We talk about the future, what we want to be as parents, what we want to be for each other, where we see ourselves in 20 years. As parents, we spend a lot more nights in than we do going out. I am so lucky to say we have enough fun with each other that that is totally ok. He is my best friend and if you're going to be stuck inside on a Friday night.. you want it to be with the person who makes you laugh harder than anyone you know, the person you can be a total whack-o in front of. My husband, my best friend.
He is the most amazing father. He looks at Tori in a way he looks at no one else. He is her protector, he adores her and the ground she walks on. They are lucky to have each other.

Professionally I had an awesome year. I am so appreciative of my brokerage, my colleagues, my clients. Everyone involved in my career has influenced me and have been so supportive.

2014 has some seriously awesome shoes to fill. I am SO excited for the possibilities. It is awesome to think that the BEST is even yet to come. Wishing everyone a healthy and happy holiday and  in the new year!

 

STANDING

My almost 10 month old is standing! AHHHH!

And by standing I mean she pulls herself up and stands. She will pull herself up in her pack n play, the couch, on me... it is so cute. She stands and looks so proud of herself.

"Look what I can do mom!"

I am so not ready for her to grow up. Me and Dan both said we feel like its just going too fast right now. You really only do get a short amount of time with your child as a little baby. A little tiny, squishy baby who just lays in the same spot and needs her parents to do everything for her. All of a sudden we have this little lady who crawls to get things she wants, stands... says "da da" ...  throws temper tantrums when she isn't happy with something.. eats pretty much anything, gets into everything..

I am so in love with parenting Victoria.

She was truly made for me. I am so happy <3

 

 

What would you do?

I cannot stop thinking about this show. For those of you who don't know what it is: its a show with hidden cameras... they put people (who have no idea) in situations where someone is getting harassed/bullied/etc (by paid actors) and see how these people would react. For example: the video I am sharing has someone harassing a woman and her daughter because the woman doesn't speak English. Some people do nothing, they hear the harassment, they see the harassment and they simply turn their head to it. Others stand up for the people, they give the bully their two cents, put the bully in his/her place. Another cool thing about the show is that there is a psychologist who watches the whole thing while its happening and basically talks about why she thinks the people in the situation reacted the way they did. She reads their body language, responds to how the people reacted, etc. I was so touched by the whole thing. Literally had tears in my eyes at some of the situations. There was a video of a boy with down syndrome working as a bagger at a grocery store and they had the actors make fun of him.. call him a retard, say they wish those kind of people didn't work with the public, etc.. the most amazing part of the peoples responses who did stand up for the kid was how eloquent some of them were. Like they just used really powerful words to get their points across which I thought was great. They weren't threatening (or not most of them anyways) and they were just proving their point and most of them just tried to make the bully get a reality check that that could have been their sibling, their child, etc.

I was TORTURED in middle school. It was legit the worst days of my life. I remember thinking I could not handle life if that's how it was going to be. It happened on the bus, in class, at lunch.. and it was always around people. No one stood up for me. No one said enough was enough. I was insecure with my frizzy big hair, round glasses, crooked teeth... I remember wishing someone would be my voice. I remember wishing someone would tell them to stop. Out of the handful of bullies there were, by the time I was in high school and prettier, thinner, with less acne (lol) they had let up and I was able to move on (mostly to another set of bullies which in high school is the mean girls).. but the one bully I had from middle school I never forgave. He was relentless. I literally never had a conversation with him after middle school. And then, a year after we graduated high school, he committed suicide. Wow. I have heard that bullies tend to have even lower self esteem than their victims and apparently that is true. He had his own battles inside of him that he was taking out on me. The things he said to me stuck with me for LIFE. I literally to this day remember everything. The names, where we would be, who it was that would stand there and laugh with him... most of his crew were never the ones to say anything, they were the ones who just stood there. The show brought me back to all of this and I had tears most of the time watching it.

My goal with Tori: to teach her to be the voice she can be for others. To teach her to understand that everyone is different. It doesn't matter if you are beautiful on the outside, you have to be beautiful on the inside. If you are not at peace with yourself, it is not up to you to bring others down with you. Not saying anything is as bad as being the bully. NEVER BE THE BULLY.

Words will stay with you for life, please parenting God... let me remember that as Tori's mom. Let me remember my words will stay with her, everything I say to her will effect her self esteem, she has to always know I am her number one fan.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sam3deneMgk

CHANGE

I need a change.

New hair. A new outfit. A change of scenery. I don't know what sort of change but I need it. I can feel it in my bones. I can feel it in my scrunched up eyebrows, my tense shoulders, my tossing and turning in bed... my constant cracking of my knuckles.

Luckily we go to NY in a couple of weeks. Maybe the trip out of Lancaster for a few days will help.

I think that's it for my post today. My mind is going, going, going and I don't even know what else to say! Enjoy the rest of your weekend, folks!

Molasses-Spice cookies

I made some pretty awesome cookies the other day. Dan isn't into chocolate much so I tried something different. I was told they tasted like a chewy ginger snap. Enjoy the recipe below! Let me know if you have any questions!

-2 cups of all purpse flour
-1.5 tsp baking soda
-1 tsp ground cinnamon
-.5 tsp of nutmeg
-pinch of salt
-1.5 cups of sugar
-1.5 sticks of butter
-1 egg
-1/4 cup of molasses

*preheat oven to 350 degrees
*In medium bowl whisk together flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. In a shallow bowl place 1/2 cup of the sugar.
*With an electric mixer beat butter and remaining cup of sugar. Beat in egg and molasses. Reduce speed to low, gradually mix in dry ingredients, until a dough forms (DOUGH IS VERY STICKY!)
*Pinch off and roll dough into tablespoon size balls and roll the balls in the reserved sugar
*Arrange balls on baking sheets about 3 inches apart. Bake cookies one sheet at a time until edges are firm (about 10-15 minutes..you can bake the cookies all at once but they might not crack evenly).
*Allow to cool on cookie racks

ENJOY

 



9 months

I am a few days late. Life has been crazy, busy and exciting. We have some things going on with the sale of our house right now that threw us for a loop (no its not anything bad and no its not sold yet). I will save the details of that for another post. Then with Thanksgiving and prepping for Christmas.. it is just nuts.

Victoria is 9 months old. At her 9 month doctor appointment she was 19lbs 8oz, 28in long. I cant believe my little peanut, who was born at 6lbs 11oz(then went down to 5lbs 11oz in a week).... is now almost 4x as big as she was at birth. Crazy. The swing that we use for Tori is a travel swing so its smaller than a normal swing, we have liked it because it is easy to take to different places... but now that Tori is so big, shes too big for the swing, like it literally doesn't swing when shes in it lol. Victoria is so smart and I swear there is something new with this lady going on every day. She is talking even more, trying to repeat words when we say them to her. Apparently she talks a LOT, we have had multiple people tell us they think she will be an early talker... hahaha I cant say that with me as her mother I am at all surprised. Tori is also getting a lot stronger. She now does the "downward dog" pose lol... she will get on her hands and knees then stretch out/lock her legs so shes a little triangle. It is hilarious and she looks right at you when she does it to make sure you are watching. Little lady hates socks and is very good at getting them off. No really, our game anywhere we go is to see how long it takes until Tori only has one sock on lol. Little lady is also taking a LOT more bumps to the head right now. She is getting strong but is still not completely stable so she will do things when she is sitting up like shake her head "no" as hard as she can and then will knock herself over. Or the whole downward dog thing, she tends to land face first on the floor then. Shes had a bruise on her forehead. Stupid hardwood floors. Victoria is also clapping now. I AM OBSESSED. It is soooo cute and the happiness in her face when shes doing it is priceless. 3 months until my baby is 1. I am going to start planning the party after the holidays.

To end the post...the pediatrician said to Dan and I on Monday that his biggest regret in parenting was not always taking time to do the small things with his kids. He said he wished he could go back in time, and the moments his daughter asked him to watch a movie, that he did that instead of mowed the lawn, that when his son asked him to play outside, he went and did that instead of watched the football game. I made a promise to Victoria and to myself to try to always remember that. When she is driving me crazy and wanting to play the same game over and over again and Id much rather read a magazine, that I play the game again. That when its raining outside and I hate the idea of being wet in my clothes.. I grab my daughter and we go outside and run around, playing in the rain.
Her happiness is everything to me. I will always remember that.. raising her to be happy, to always be a friend to others, to always be grateful for what she has..& to give her childhood memories she will cherish forever. Those are my goals as a mother.

Victoria Luna, 9 months until forever, you will always be my baby.