the one where we are two weeks into life as a family of four

Eye infection. Ear infection. 24 hour stomach bug. Laryngitis. Mastitis. If you follow me on fbook, you already know.. these are all of the things that have plagued my home since bringing our dearest Ava home from the hospital. Dan feels better, Tori feels mostly better. Mommy still has almost no voice and is on a prescription for her mastitis. The mastitis pain has been coming and going, the meds have been working but occasionally I am getting pain in my chest still which is hard to determine if it is mastitis pain, bad latch pain, etc. The laryngitis has me whispering, but even that can be painful as I have a cough that has come with it making my throat dry and making me scare the baby when I am feeding her and start having a coughing fit. Tonight while eating dinner Dan says "I really hope you get your voice back soon".. right there with ya buddy. The hardest part of no voice is definitely Tori. She can barely hear me when I say something to her and if shes extra naughty for whatever reason, I cant raise my voice. She whispers her responses back to me, Im not sure if she understands that I am sick or if she just thinks this is the new way that Mommy talks lol.

Breastfeeding had been going just as terribly as I remembered it going with Tori. Our latch was terrible. Bloody nipples (sorry), cracked, scabbed, swollen. You name it, it was happening to my boobs. Thankfully after seeing a lactation consultant at Ava's pediatrician office we have been doing much better with the latch. It is still not totally pain free. The first 10ish seconds or so hurt and right now & I am dealing with some over production issues that leave Ava pissed when she goes to latch on and the milk squirts out everywhere. Poor thing cant keep up. Tomorrow is her two week check up and Ill be seeing the lactation consultant again so I plan to chat with her about what I can do to slow my milk down or help Ava learn how to handle it better. I am interested to see how much she weighs now. She was 8lbs 1oz at her 2 day check up. I wonder how much closer to her 8lb 9oz birth weight she is?! Lactation lady has me feeding her every 2-3 hours during the day (based mostly on how full I get) and then overnight I can just feed her as she wants to be fed. This has been nice. She has been consistently waking up twice overnight to eat. Once around 2am and then again between 5-6am. Night hasn't been terrible. She sometimes wants to stay up right before her 2am feeding and chill for an hour or so but she isn't super cranky or crying so its not bad. I rock her and rub her sweet little face and eventually she gets tired and goes to sleep.

Hardest part of the past two weeks is without question (next to bfeeding) finding the balance between Tori and Ava. I swear Tori only wants me to hold her, hug her, play with her, etc. right when she sees I am about to feed Ava. Tori has not understood why feeding Ava cant wait. But that's the thing, it really cant. Especially with how full I feel that I get, mix that with mastitis and I really need to stay on top of feeding her. Sometimes Tori will want me to hold her while I am feeding Ava and that is a real pain. I get so scared that Tor is going to climb on top of me and knock the pillow that Ava is on or something and then Ava is going to pull off my nipple or something lol. Im telling you, these are really the things that go through my head.

Best part of the past two weeks: Tori loves her baby sister SO much. She slept over at Izzys last night and old her Aunt Sum Sum that she "wanted her Mommy, Daddy and baby Ava". And tonight she tells me "Mom, I really love baby Ava" in the sweetest, most adorable big sister way ever. She always wants to hold her and rub her head.. and anytime shes coming or going she always makes it a point to say hi or bye to her baby sister.

I am finding that bringing your second child home is nowhere near as scary or stressful as bringing home your first. We are pretty much doing what we have always done only now we have to throw in a newborns breastfeeding schedule too. I think this would all be going much more smoothly also if I wasn't so sick right now. No voice and this cough is really throwing me off. There should be some sort of rule that mommies cannot get sick, ever.