Wednesday, September 6, 2017

the one where Tori starts pre k!

I would like to preface this post saying, I for one really hate the corny cliché.. "where did the time go?"... and every other Mom comment you can think of. But seriously guys, its true. I have yet to meet a mother who has older kids that doesn't tell me they would do anything to go back in time to babyhood or toddlerhood with their children. That it went faster than they could keep up with. That they hardly remember it because it was such a blur.

Going from 0 to 1 child was hard. Everyone tells you your life is about to change but you have NO idea just how much it is going to change until the baby is finally here. Enter: Tori. Breastfeeding was hard, not sleeping was hard, missing out on events was hard, going to events but not being able to get her out of my head was hard, questioning my every decision was hard. I'm in love with her in a way that I can only describe as an obsession. She changed everything about my life and saved me in ways that I didn't know I needed to be saved.

Obsession; an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a persons mind.

That is my Tori since the day she was born. I eat, sleep, breathe her. And now, here we are.. shes 4.5 years old and in pre-k! Meaning the school year you go to-to prepare you for KINDERGARTEN... aka the school year that will take her away from me for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, 9 months a year. And once it starts, there is no end in sight until she graduates high school. Excuse me while I take some deep breathes and try not to vom all over myself. Since she has been born, shes been my little shadow- everywhere Mom goes, Tori goes. She has never spent a day in daycare. She has only spent two nights in a row away from me ONCE in her 4.5 years.. any other time has been a sporadic one night here and there. Its very hard for me to think of any other person getting this time with her that I'm not. That someone else is going to see her figure something out, start having an interest in something, be a friend to someone who needs one.

All this to be said is just leading to what has been very clear to Dan and I since she turned four: she is SO ready for more school. For more time away. She is not scared. She is confident. She is VERY aware of those around her. Of others' feelings. She is always watching. She is always taking everything in. She asks questions. She figures things out. She can be shy at first, mostly because shes always trying to figure everyone out.. and then she is a total lover. She wants to be friends with everyone. She wants everyone to be happy. She wishes so hard she was older and bigger!

So to my oh so sassy, smart, vibrant, beautiful, hilarious Tori: YAY for Pre-K! I know you will do fabulous and have so much fun. I love you.

And because Ava needed in on the photoshoot today:

Thursday, August 31, 2017

the one where Dad is back to work, weeks 1-2

I would be lying if I didn't admit I was borderline terrified of Dan going back to work this last week. I mean, its funny.. when the summer starts, I very quickly forget how I managed with just my own two hands. Work, the kids, errands, the gym, playing, bathtime, groceries, cleaning the house.. it seemed impossible. There is no way I can manage that. I went through a stage of denial (lol).. hey, if you pretend the school year isn't a week away, it doesn't come, right? As if this isn't how every school year goes (since Tori was born).
Then it came, the school year. Daddy leaves at 7am and doesn't return until 3:30. I know, that's not a bad day at all. And for the most part, when Daddy is home at 3:30, he's truly home with us with not too much work to bring home.
And no surprise- I have managed life with no day time help. We very quickly got back into our school year routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, go to the gym/play dates depending on the day, have lunch, Ava naps while Tori has quiet time, Ava wakes up, we play outside or run errands, Daddy is home. Next week we add Toris school schedule (pre-k, ahhh!) back into the routine. This year itll be Monday, Wednesday, Friday, extended days of 9:30-2:30. We will miss Tori terribly but I am very excited for some one on one time with Ava before the new baby gets here. Ava has never had that time with just me. We will be able to go to the library if we want to (baby girl has never been to a toddler time!), go for walks, play.. just Ava girl and Momma.

Friday, August 25, 2017

the one with a 29 week update

Pregnancy update!
How far along: 29 weeks!
Total weight gain: 30 lbs and going strong, hoping its all baby haha
Maternity clothes: I'm finishing the summer with the same two pair of shorts over and over again and throw in a maternity dress for a couple of special events/work.
Stretch marks: N/A
Sleep: Non existent. I cannot wait for a non pregnant sleep.
Best moment of this week: Baby girl is moving like CRAZY. She is so STRONG and Tori has even felt it.
Miss anything: Alcohol, comfortably laying on my back, sleep..
Movement: A ton! My fav thing ever!
Food cravings: No, more food aversions than anything else.
Anything making you queasy or sick: The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad summer 2017 humidity and I have heart burn all the time!
Have you started to show yet: See: weight gained lol
Gender: Girl mom for life!
Labor signs: Thankfully no!
Belly button in or out: In but on its way out
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Irritable.
Looking forward to: Watching the girls take on big sister roles x2.

Monday, July 24, 2017

the one where I am 24 weeks along

Pregnancy update!

How far along: 24 weeks!
Total weight gain: 23 lbs. Ok, so I am attributing this to a couple things.. 1-I am just not a small pregnant person lol. I gained just over 50 with Tori and just about 40 with Ava, so at this rate, Ill gain the same this time around that I did in the past. 2-I was thinner in the beginning this time around than I have been in yearssssss. Just under 5'5 and around 110 when I found out I was pregnant. Clearly the weight gain is going to be more noticeable lol.
Maternity clothes: I really hate wearing clothes. I prefer braless and pajamas LOL but since that seems to be frowned upon in public (except for at Walmart), I'm wearing maternity clothes.. dresses, tanks.. this uber hot weather makes it especially hard to get dressed.
Stretch marks: N/A
Sleep: I sleep terribly. I had a legit breakdown recently about how tired I am. I would rather have hours of broken up sleep from a newborn (and not pregnant) than 8 hours of terrible, pregnancy sleep. I cant get comfortable. I'm always hot. Its tough.
Best moment of this week: Today I had an ultrasound to follow up on some "placental lakes" that showed up on my last ultrasound. Although the dr said they were common, I was nervous. They said the leaks (which are pretty much little puddles of blood on your placenta) can cause the baby to not grow as they should be. My appointment today they said the lakes had shrunk/were small enough to be "unmeasurable" and the baby is a BIG girl! Shes already measuring in the 89th % for size weighing in at about 1lb 13oz. I am thrilled. Seriously, give me the big chunky babies. Ava was 8lbs 9oz at birth and I had an amazing labor/delivery, so that on repeat please!
Miss anything: I miss alcohol. Especially on really hot days. COLD BEER!
Movement: Shes so big and so strong. She kicks so hard that now people around me can see her. Its awesome.
Food cravings: Nope, I'm just always thirsty!
Anything making you queasy or sick: I have developed a slight aversion to hot coffee.
Have you started to show yet: See: weight gained lol
Gender: Girl mom for life!
Labor signs: Thankfully no!
Belly button in or out: In but on its way out
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Neither. Exhausted.
Looking forward to: The summer weather breaking so I can find some comfort! And deciding on a baby name!!!!

Check out this cutie:

Friday, July 21, 2017

the one with a 4.5 year old Tori

I am sort of dying over Tori lately and felt the need to give an update. Dying in a really good, in-awe-of-her sort of way.
4.5  years old-Ill tell you what, she is just getting soooo smart. Too smart. Today she referred to me as "girlfriend". I do not even notice how much I say that and according to Dan, I say it to her all the time! She picks up on it, and there ya go- "girlfriend". She is so aware. She is constantly taking everything in. Always watching people and reading them. What are they thinking? How are they feeling? etc.
Ava has been tough lately, really pushing buttons. She LOVES rough housing with Tori right now. Pulling her hair, pinching, biting, she just loves to wrestle! Tori is soooo good about it. She will pull Avas hair back and of course wrestle back, but she will not hurt her the way I know she very easily could. Watching the two of them interact is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. Tori will pick her up and swing her around, they cuddle all the time. If Tori is upset, crying, or throwing a temper tantrum Ava goes right over to her and lays her head on Tori or will rub Toris head, it is so sweet. Tori is FIERCLY protective of her baby sister. If I yell at Ava about something shes doing, Tori will say to me "Mom, remember shes just a baby!". Its hilarious. They also love to gang up on Mom. Tonight for example, Tori starts wrestling and jumping on me, and then who is right behind her, jumping and hitting mom? Yep, Ava. Two against one. We laugh and I ask Tori "What am I going to do when there is a third little girl jumping and wrestling on me?!" And Tori thinks its the best thing ever.
Tori is obsessed with horses. ALL THINGS HORSES. She wants a horse stable for Christmas. I found one at Target (its almost $70, so it might be her only Xmas gift this year lol) and she is always finding other new horse related things she wants.
Tori is looking more grown up to me than ever. Her hair is super long again, shes getting taller, thinning out.. I can hardly believe at her next birthday she will be turning five. Dan and I both cant get over it. 5 is like a KID, not a toddler. Shell be in extended day pre-k(3 days a week for 5 hours each day) and she is SO excited to get to eat lunch at school this year!
We drive past what will be her elementary school almost daily and we yell "KINDERGARTEN". She is so excited. I remind her that she will be there all day when she starts and she tells me she is not scared because "I will come home, Mom". It will, without a doubt, be way harder on me than it will be on her when the time comes. Tori has already started telling me that I "can drive her to school sometimes". She already prefers the idea of riding the school bus with the neighborhood kids. Thankfully I have this full next year to mentally prepare myself.
Tori Lu, my first baby. Growing so big, making me so proud.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

the one with our trip to OBX part 1

So I know most of my readers are friends with me on facebook so you already know we just got back from OBX- but for those of you who don't follow me- WE JUST GOT BACK FROM OBX.
I have mentioned before but in case you are just tuning in, we didn't vacation as kids. My dad didn't have a job that allowed for that. I think I can remember twice in my whole life??? Maybe once??? Anyways, that brings me to our decision to go ahead and splurge a bit on a week long beach vacay to OBX. Taking my kids on vacay and making vacation memories with them is so important to me.
We were invited by a co-worker of Dan's (and his wife) to join them and some friends on a family beach trip. We would go as one of 5 families and only know 1 family. That was a tad scary. Then it turned out another family they invited couldn't go and they asked if we knew anyone we would want to invite. Insert: the Reed family. SCORE. We get to go and now know TWO families, and the Reeds happen to be some of our very best friends so we knew it would go just fine.
There was a decent amount of planning that went into the whole beach week because the part of OBX that the house was in was VERRRRRY North. Like 45 minute drive up the beach North. Like three houses down from the VA border North. It wasn't easy to get to town so we sort of planned with the idea that we might not make it into town at all that week. Luckily, one of the women going on the trip (a teacher of course lol) was an awesome planner, complete with her google doc- we made a list of items needed for the house (i.e. aluminum foil, sandwich bags, etc)... all of the families signed up for two items to purchase for the whole house (for everyone to share) and then also signed up for a dinner night. Yep, you read that right- one night during the week you had to cook dinner for every single person in the house. Did I mention there were 12 adults and 13 kids? It actually worked out awesome that we did that. It was so much easier to plan packing just for breakfast and lunch and then ONE dinner. Dan was able to smoke some chicken on his smoker ahead of time and freeze it to take along so our meal for the week was pulled chicken tacos with peppers, rice and then also he made a bunch of sausage and peppers just in case there wasn't enough chicken which he was sort of panicked over. Then we got hot dogs for the kids (because, well, kids). The week featured meatball subs, pork bbq night, a taco night, sausage/peppers and pasta night, burgers and hot dogs night. Seriously, all of the food was delicious. Dan and I were both a little worried about just getting some pasta every night (since it wouldn't be easy to cook for everyone) and if we couldn't go out to eat because we weren't close to town, then we were hoping to have some good food. Not one night disappointed! We even had a seafood boil lunch one day (thanks to Danny!) and it was awesome. We all had so much fun eating together. Surprisingly, dinner time (and the lunch seafood boil) was the only time the whole group was really together at the same time for eating. We didn't have to fight over the kitchen and everyone did a great job cleaning up after themselves.
I'm breaking up the details into a couple of posts because I feel like there is just too much to type all in one, Ill lose ya haha so there ya go.. Part 1, location and food situation!

Monday, June 19, 2017

the one where I reflect on my 30th birthday

Dear lordy, I can hardly believe I am 30 today. I was just 17, parked in a Sheetz parking lot, blaring my music with all of my friends stuffed in my car, waiting to see whose parents were out of town so we could go hang (haha sorry Mom and Dad). And now, here I am, 30 years old. Married with 2 kids and one on the way.

I'm not feeling weird, sad or nervous at all about my 30's. My 20's were such a decade of transition. I spent the first 5 years of my 20's trying to figure out who I was. Such a mess Ill tell ya. Lots of mistakes. Lots of confusion. Lots of putting Dan through the ringer.  Lots of putting my parents through the ringer. Lots of trying to adjust to the next phase. Even when Dan and I got married, I spent the first year trying to figure out how to be a wife and newlywed without losing myself, my identity, without changing too much of what made me comfortable. Then I had Tori, and the next adjustment was to a new mom. I didn't have many friends who had kids. No one understood. I loved this baby more than anything on the planet but she changed everything. Then the transition into not caring that no one else "got it" started. The learning to stand on my own two feet. The learning how to not care if I was left out of something. The learning to not care that maybe I just wasn't going to be THAT close with every single person that I was close with before. People change. I was allowed to change. Especially if the change made me happier. Learning to accept that if someone truly loved and cared for me, they would accept my change and not judge me. I could still be a good friend, I could still be fun, I could still be so much of what made me "me".

The second half of my 20's has been adjusting into my career, my two kids, my husband and preparing to close a chapter that baby #3 is helping close (pregnancy and newborn chapter). I love my job. I love the flexibility. I know I say that all of the time, but in my late 20's it felt good to be able to say I liked what I did for a living. And that I was good at it. And that I didn't have to put my kids on the back burner to be successful in my career. And juggling motherhood and working full time has been one of my biggest successes. It is not easy, at all. Literally not one day goes by that I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I have learned to embrace it. The second half of my 20's has brought Dan and I really getting into the swing of things in our partnership. 6 years married this July and I feel more confident in us than ever before. We are truly the best of friends and I find so much comfort and support in him. My late 20's brought a new found appreciation for him, a lot of that being as I watched him become a Daddy to our kids, but man, I am really lucky. I have a guy that does it all.

Enter 30. Today I am a successful realtor. Today I have two kids and one on the way and am feeling really confident in adding another one to our brood. I work really hard to be a good Mother and a good Wife. I am surrounded by people who love me and our family. I feel supported. I feel understood. I feel confident. I feel like this decade is really going to rock my world. Bring on 30's!!!!!

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