Monday, July 24, 2017

the one where I am 24 weeks along

Pregnancy update!

How far along: 24 weeks!
Total weight gain: 23 lbs. Ok, so I am attributing this to a couple things.. 1-I am just not a small pregnant person lol. I gained just over 50 with Tori and just about 40 with Ava, so at this rate, Ill gain the same this time around that I did in the past. 2-I was thinner in the beginning this time around than I have been in yearssssss. Just under 5'5 and around 110 when I found out I was pregnant. Clearly the weight gain is going to be more noticeable lol.
Maternity clothes: I really hate wearing clothes. I prefer braless and pajamas LOL but since that seems to be frowned upon in public (except for at Walmart), I'm wearing maternity clothes.. dresses, tanks.. this uber hot weather makes it especially hard to get dressed.
Stretch marks: N/A
Sleep: I sleep terribly. I had a legit breakdown recently about how tired I am. I would rather have hours of broken up sleep from a newborn (and not pregnant) than 8 hours of terrible, pregnancy sleep. I cant get comfortable. I'm always hot. Its tough.
Best moment of this week: Today I had an ultrasound to follow up on some "placental lakes" that showed up on my last ultrasound. Although the dr said they were common, I was nervous. They said the leaks (which are pretty much little puddles of blood on your placenta) can cause the baby to not grow as they should be. My appointment today they said the lakes had shrunk/were small enough to be "unmeasurable" and the baby is a BIG girl! Shes already measuring in the 89th % for size weighing in at about 1lb 13oz. I am thrilled. Seriously, give me the big chunky babies. Ava was 8lbs 9oz at birth and I had an amazing labor/delivery, so that on repeat please!
Miss anything: I miss alcohol. Especially on really hot days. COLD BEER!
Movement: Shes so big and so strong. She kicks so hard that now people around me can see her. Its awesome.
Food cravings: Nope, I'm just always thirsty!
Anything making you queasy or sick: I have developed a slight aversion to hot coffee.
Have you started to show yet: See: weight gained lol
Gender: Girl mom for life!
Labor signs: Thankfully no!
Belly button in or out: In but on its way out
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or moody most of the time: Neither. Exhausted.
Looking forward to: The summer weather breaking so I can find some comfort! And deciding on a baby name!!!!

Check out this cutie:

Friday, July 21, 2017

the one with a 4.5 year old Tori

I am sort of dying over Tori lately and felt the need to give an update. Dying in a really good, in-awe-of-her sort of way.
4.5  years old-Ill tell you what, she is just getting soooo smart. Too smart. Today she referred to me as "girlfriend". I do not even notice how much I say that and according to Dan, I say it to her all the time! She picks up on it, and there ya go- "girlfriend". She is so aware. She is constantly taking everything in. Always watching people and reading them. What are they thinking? How are they feeling? etc.
Ava has been tough lately, really pushing buttons. She LOVES rough housing with Tori right now. Pulling her hair, pinching, biting, she just loves to wrestle! Tori is soooo good about it. She will pull Avas hair back and of course wrestle back, but she will not hurt her the way I know she very easily could. Watching the two of them interact is one of my most favorite things in the whole world. Tori will pick her up and swing her around, they cuddle all the time. If Tori is upset, crying, or throwing a temper tantrum Ava goes right over to her and lays her head on Tori or will rub Toris head, it is so sweet. Tori is FIERCLY protective of her baby sister. If I yell at Ava about something shes doing, Tori will say to me "Mom, remember shes just a baby!". Its hilarious. They also love to gang up on Mom. Tonight for example, Tori starts wrestling and jumping on me, and then who is right behind her, jumping and hitting mom? Yep, Ava. Two against one. We laugh and I ask Tori "What am I going to do when there is a third little girl jumping and wrestling on me?!" And Tori thinks its the best thing ever.
Tori is obsessed with horses. ALL THINGS HORSES. She wants a horse stable for Christmas. I found one at Target (its almost $70, so it might be her only Xmas gift this year lol) and she is always finding other new horse related things she wants.
Tori is looking more grown up to me than ever. Her hair is super long again, shes getting taller, thinning out.. I can hardly believe at her next birthday she will be turning five. Dan and I both cant get over it. 5 is like a KID, not a toddler. Shell be in extended day pre-k(3 days a week for 5 hours each day) and she is SO excited to get to eat lunch at school this year!
We drive past what will be her elementary school almost daily and we yell "KINDERGARTEN". She is so excited. I remind her that she will be there all day when she starts and she tells me she is not scared because "I will come home, Mom". It will, without a doubt, be way harder on me than it will be on her when the time comes. Tori has already started telling me that I "can drive her to school sometimes". She already prefers the idea of riding the school bus with the neighborhood kids. Thankfully I have this full next year to mentally prepare myself.
Tori Lu, my first baby. Growing so big, making me so proud.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

the one with our trip to OBX part 1

So I know most of my readers are friends with me on facebook so you already know we just got back from OBX- but for those of you who don't follow me- WE JUST GOT BACK FROM OBX.
I have mentioned before but in case you are just tuning in, we didn't vacation as kids. My dad didn't have a job that allowed for that. I think I can remember twice in my whole life??? Maybe once??? Anyways, that brings me to our decision to go ahead and splurge a bit on a week long beach vacay to OBX. Taking my kids on vacay and making vacation memories with them is so important to me.
We were invited by a co-worker of Dan's (and his wife) to join them and some friends on a family beach trip. We would go as one of 5 families and only know 1 family. That was a tad scary. Then it turned out another family they invited couldn't go and they asked if we knew anyone we would want to invite. Insert: the Reed family. SCORE. We get to go and now know TWO families, and the Reeds happen to be some of our very best friends so we knew it would go just fine.
There was a decent amount of planning that went into the whole beach week because the part of OBX that the house was in was VERRRRRY North. Like 45 minute drive up the beach North. Like three houses down from the VA border North. It wasn't easy to get to town so we sort of planned with the idea that we might not make it into town at all that week. Luckily, one of the women going on the trip (a teacher of course lol) was an awesome planner, complete with her google doc- we made a list of items needed for the house (i.e. aluminum foil, sandwich bags, etc)... all of the families signed up for two items to purchase for the whole house (for everyone to share) and then also signed up for a dinner night. Yep, you read that right- one night during the week you had to cook dinner for every single person in the house. Did I mention there were 12 adults and 13 kids? It actually worked out awesome that we did that. It was so much easier to plan packing just for breakfast and lunch and then ONE dinner. Dan was able to smoke some chicken on his smoker ahead of time and freeze it to take along so our meal for the week was pulled chicken tacos with peppers, rice and then also he made a bunch of sausage and peppers just in case there wasn't enough chicken which he was sort of panicked over. Then we got hot dogs for the kids (because, well, kids). The week featured meatball subs, pork bbq night, a taco night, sausage/peppers and pasta night, burgers and hot dogs night. Seriously, all of the food was delicious. Dan and I were both a little worried about just getting some pasta every night (since it wouldn't be easy to cook for everyone) and if we couldn't go out to eat because we weren't close to town, then we were hoping to have some good food. Not one night disappointed! We even had a seafood boil lunch one day (thanks to Danny!) and it was awesome. We all had so much fun eating together. Surprisingly, dinner time (and the lunch seafood boil) was the only time the whole group was really together at the same time for eating. We didn't have to fight over the kitchen and everyone did a great job cleaning up after themselves.
I'm breaking up the details into a couple of posts because I feel like there is just too much to type all in one, Ill lose ya haha so there ya go.. Part 1, location and food situation!

Monday, June 19, 2017

the one where I reflect on my 30th birthday

Dear lordy, I can hardly believe I am 30 today. I was just 17, parked in a Sheetz parking lot, blaring my music with all of my friends stuffed in my car, waiting to see whose parents were out of town so we could go hang (haha sorry Mom and Dad). And now, here I am, 30 years old. Married with 2 kids and one on the way.

I'm not feeling weird, sad or nervous at all about my 30's. My 20's were such a decade of transition. I spent the first 5 years of my 20's trying to figure out who I was. Such a mess Ill tell ya. Lots of mistakes. Lots of confusion. Lots of putting Dan through the ringer.  Lots of putting my parents through the ringer. Lots of trying to adjust to the next phase. Even when Dan and I got married, I spent the first year trying to figure out how to be a wife and newlywed without losing myself, my identity, without changing too much of what made me comfortable. Then I had Tori, and the next adjustment was to a new mom. I didn't have many friends who had kids. No one understood. I loved this baby more than anything on the planet but she changed everything. Then the transition into not caring that no one else "got it" started. The learning to stand on my own two feet. The learning how to not care if I was left out of something. The learning to not care that maybe I just wasn't going to be THAT close with every single person that I was close with before. People change. I was allowed to change. Especially if the change made me happier. Learning to accept that if someone truly loved and cared for me, they would accept my change and not judge me. I could still be a good friend, I could still be fun, I could still be so much of what made me "me".

The second half of my 20's has been adjusting into my career, my two kids, my husband and preparing to close a chapter that baby #3 is helping close (pregnancy and newborn chapter). I love my job. I love the flexibility. I know I say that all of the time, but in my late 20's it felt good to be able to say I liked what I did for a living. And that I was good at it. And that I didn't have to put my kids on the back burner to be successful in my career. And juggling motherhood and working full time has been one of my biggest successes. It is not easy, at all. Literally not one day goes by that I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I have learned to embrace it. The second half of my 20's has brought Dan and I really getting into the swing of things in our partnership. 6 years married this July and I feel more confident in us than ever before. We are truly the best of friends and I find so much comfort and support in him. My late 20's brought a new found appreciation for him, a lot of that being as I watched him become a Daddy to our kids, but man, I am really lucky. I have a guy that does it all.

Enter 30. Today I am a successful realtor. Today I have two kids and one on the way and am feeling really confident in adding another one to our brood. I work really hard to be a good Mother and a good Wife. I am surrounded by people who love me and our family. I feel supported. I feel understood. I feel confident. I feel like this decade is really going to rock my world. Bring on 30's!!!!!

Thursday, June 15, 2017

the one with Ava's 18 month check up

Two weeks ago our sweet Ava girl turned a year and a half old! As every mom says (I know, I know, we are broken records) time flies! It seems like ever since she turned one- I cant catch up with her. Girlfriend is doing awesome.

At her 18 month check up, they did all of the typical stuff (including 3 shots my poor girl) and asked lots and lots of questions. Ava is in the 45th % for weight, the 85th % for height and her head... well, neither of my girls have had heads measuring less than the 95th % LOL. Whatever, they grow into them haha.

Ava is saying SO many words: Momma, Dadda, dog, ball, bath, hot, book, bubbles, 'that' and her new word as of today (literally) is Izzy. It is so cute! I am still trying to figure out what she is going to end up saying for Tori, we call Tori by her name and by 'sister' so I wont be surprised at all if she starts referring to her as 'sister' rather than her name.

Ava is into EVERYTHING. You cannot turn your back on her for a second. Tonight for example.. she has learned how to push the little chairs from the small table (which Tor started doing around 3 but obviously little sister has learned it quicker).. so she moved the chair to the counter while I was getting dinner together. Butter, knives, grapes, all the good stuff just sitting there waiting for her to grab. I get it all away.. realize I forgot my water bottle in the car (I had my parents on face time during this).. ran outside for maybe 30 seconds?.. come back in, and there is Ava, with the chair pushed to the other side of the counters... sitting on the floor with three tomatoes, smashing them and making her very own pasta sauce. She thought it was hilarious. She is so quick!! My parents got a kick out of that one. I wonder if she can already start having middle child syndrome if the baby isn't here yet? Because if so, I think shes there and I think its coming in the form of wild child. She is going to be my crazy one for sure.

Her hair is more blond than ever and she has these beautiful blue eyes. Those two things combined with the sweetest porcelain colored skin and pink lips- she is a real life doll baby. One that doesn't look a thing like her Momma. As she is getting older, I am starting to see more of Tori in some of the faces she makes and just like since she was born, I see Dan in her everyday. I see it the most in her eyes. Especially when she laughs.

She is a clown. Always wanting to make everyone laugh. Always wanting your attention. She has started doing this strange dance where she moves her arms all around in circles and turns them, etc and we are pretty sure its her dancing but you cant help but laugh whenever she does it.

Her top two teeth have finally broke through! She now has about 3.5 teeth lol. I hate teething so bad. The poor girl can be so moody and I just keep reminding myself about whats happening in her little mouth and how she doesn't understand it. I feel bad for the little lady.

Shes walking!!! Legit walking! Like choosing to walk to get where she wants to go! It is that adorable little drunk person walk where she is waddling around and using her arms to balance. It is adorable. Tori loves it too. She can gain some speed now and the girls will do a little chasing around the living room.

She loves to read! Every night before bed and every nap before we put her in her crib we have to read her one or two books. She even has some favorites. It is so cute. I have her and Tori doing the library summer reading program so we will have a lot of fun picking out books over the summer.

Shes nursing once a day now. The whole "she will wean now that youre pregnant" didn't happen haha. Every single morning girlfriend wants her milkies and I don't mind it at all. I am still not interested in nursing two kids at once so I am hoping she will at least wean before then but I guess we will see!

She is the greatest blessing. She brings a spark to our lives that we didn't know was missing. Tori always says she reminds her of the sun. Our little wild cat.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

the one where I had a really bad day

Today I was a really shitty mom for my four year old.

I hate how much I screamed.
I hate that I cried (multiple times).
I hate that she was so cranky.
I hate that she made me feel like I couldn't do anything right.
I hate that she fought with me on everything.
I hate that she didn't listen to me at all.
I hate that I couldn't get out of the funk.
I hate that sometimes I feel like I'm failing her.
I hate that I truly didn't like her today.
I hate that today makes me scared of having three kids.
I hate that shes four years old and I still don't know what method of discipline works on her.
I hate that this terrible day just keeps replaying in my head.

What could I have done differently?
Did she not get enough sleep the night before?
Was I not clear enough with my expectations?
Do I let her get away with too much?
Is she too spoiled?
Am I a pushover?
Am I consistent?
Does she get enough exercise?
Is she eating well?
Am I giving her enough attention?

Today was one of the hardest days I have had with Tori in a very long time. A friend told me to remember that kids have a short memory, a bad day doesn't mean anything more than that-a bad day. I could cry right now if I tried to describe in words how badly I want to do this whole parenting gig the right way. How badly I want to do things differently than I had. How badly I hope she remembers all of the cuddles and all of the laughing. I want her to remember a Mommy that had lots of energy and that played with her at the park. A mommy who always came up with the best ideas. A mommy who made the best treats. A mommy who could keep her cool.

Today I did not keep my cool and I'm really upset and disappointed in myself.

Friday, May 26, 2017

the one with pregnancy the third time around

Third time around and I'm still experiencing some new things when it comes to this pregnancy.
First of all, I am showing MUCH faster this time around. At 16 weeks pregnant, I can still get away with wearing my normal clothes and adding a belly band but I am getting wider as much as I am sticking out further. I am in a wedding next month, the dress is a size small. About 2 months ago it still fit perfectly, fast forward to last week and I cant get it zipped up. I took it for alterations and had to have FOUR INCHES added to the rib cage area. How in the hell is my rib cage expanding? Is this normal? lol. No seriously, did anyone else experience anything like that? I have gained 10lbs already. Which I attribute to the fact that I am typically VERY on top of my weight and food/drink intake but once I am pregnant, its not that I go crazy-but I am just not strict. I was also thinner before this pregnancy (at about 115lbs soak and wet) than I ever was with my other 2 (where I was always about 120-125lbs when I found out I was pregnant).
Acne. I am breaking out like crazy. My skin is one of the most complimented features I have. I am tan year around and my skin is very smooth. I don't wear foundation. My skin tone is very even. No break outs. And now, between my back, face and neck- I'm a mess. Glamorous, I know.
Morning sickness. The first couple of weeks I had more morning sickness than I did with Tori or Ava. I wasn't puking, just sort of always feeling like I had to.
Food. Nothing weird in the food department other than I will say I miss alcohol. Which makes me turn to unsweetened iced tea and/or a soda more often than I would typically in my non pregnant days. Usually in my non pregnant days, soda is a no-no unless it is mixed in an alcoholic beverage. Hence the whole being more lax on myself when I'm pregnant.
Workouts. Same old really. I actually feel fine as far as energy goes so in the (few) nice days we have had, I have been doing ok keeping up with the girls, park dates, etc. I'm getting to the gym 3/4 times a week, still lifting, still doing some cardio.

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