the one with marriage advice from an expert

Hahahaha ok so I'm not actually an expert. Not even sort of a little bit actually-but this is what I can tell you- in 6 years, I have learned a thing or two. Some of them were things I learned right away but with marriage, you are constantly evolving and learning. I have a couple people close to me that are getting married this year and so that is what inspired this post.

1-Let yourself be vulnerable. Bring your guard down. Let your spouse truly and openly have full access to your heart. If you are marrying this person, you can trust that this person wont abuse that.
2- Do not let your children be more important than your spouse. I'm sure there are moms who are going to read that and think I'm being harsh but I'm serious. Of course your children are important and special and need you.. but I hate to break it to you- they grow up. They move on. They fall in love. They move away. They start their own families. Do you know who is going to be with you when that happens? Your husband. Your wife. That's who. Do not forget that your relationship needs to be nurtured. Your children are watching.
3- Tell your significant other that you love them every single day. Really. Life gets crazy and sometimes you will barely see each other or speak, but make it a point to do this.
4- Sometimes life is boring. Sorry but its true. The days can run together. Especially when you add kids to the mix. Work. Kids. Dinner. Bedtime. Do not live in a fantasy world where you're constantly thinking about how to make things new and exciting. Don't get me wrong- you should absolutely mix things up in life.. try something new , go somewhere new..You have to find the "new and exciting" things in the chapter of life that you are in with your significant other.
5- Communicate. I know that's so duh. But seriously. Communicate. You don't feel your significant other is giving you enough attention? Tell them. You have packed lunch for your husband or wife everyday this week without so much as a text message "thank you" and its on your mind? Tell them. With that said, find the balance between telling them and nit picking. Choose your battles.
6- People change. I think the hardest part of this is that people always change and some couples do not think they are changing together. You CAN change together. Your wants and needs will change and if you go back to #5 and communicate about these things, you can and will figure out the transitions together. Dan and I started dating when I was 20 and he was 26.. we are now almost 30 and 36. We are talking about almost a decade together. Of course we have changed. Of course our wants and needs in life are different. But the best part of our relationship is the genuine support and acceptance we give each other.
7-Remember why you got married in the first place. Remember all of the laughing. Remember the trips. Remember the goals you have reached together. Remember the family you have built.
8-Marriage is work. That might not sit well for some either but hey, it is. Think of it this way- if you go to work every single day and do the same thing every single day and never do anything to take your position to the next level- will you get the raise? Will you get the promotion? No. You have to work at your marriage everyday. What can you do to be the best husband/wife you can be?

I certainly don't have all of the answers nor will I pretend to.  I mess up every single day. I'm tired. I'm a mom of two young kids who sometimes chooses sleep over a cuddle session with my husband. With that said, I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage and everything that marriage represents. I also know that every relationship is different. 6 years of marriage has been work, but it has been one of the best jobs of my life. I am so truly thankful to have been blessed with such an amazing partner. My husband, the most amazing father. I love and appreciate you, every single day.

the one where I am about to have a four year old

Why does four seem SO much older than three?
Ill tell you why- because it is.
In toddler world-every single year is a significant change. Maybe one day, when Tori is 7 turning 8 or 14 turning 15 it wont seem like much of a difference, but right now- it seems like each year brings on a whole new world.

Since Tori was born-parenting her has been a challenge. Challenge doesn't always mean a bad thing. Sometimes it means exciting. Sometimes it means learning new things about myself. Sometimes it means pushing yourself to new limits. Sometimes it means seeing yourself in your child. Sometimes it means questioning everything. Sometimes it means getting comfortable with a stage, just for that stage to come and go in the blink of an eye.

I should have known from my 30 hour labor/delivery that this was going to be me the ride of my life.

Tori is..
SO FUNNY. Seriously. She is SUCH a jokester and loves to make people laugh.
Smart. She catches onto everything. She asks a LOT of questions. Lots and lots of "why" and "how" and "where"
Beautiful. Her hair is past her butt. Its curly. It has the most beautiful highlights. Her blue eyes sparkle. Her smile is huge. She is a real life doll baby.
Sassy. Since birth she has known exactly what she wants. And she gets it.
Charming. She always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. "I love you Mommy".. "You look pretty today Mommy"..
Aware. She reads people. She is always wondering how people feel in different situations and what it was that she did to make them feel that way.
A foodie. Loves food. Tomatoes, avocado, crab, oreo cookies, cheez its, strawberries, chicken, mac and cheese.. about 90% of the things we put in front of her she will eat. Shes just like her daddy.
An awesome big sister. She is obsessed with her baby sister. They have the most amazing embrace every morning. Its the sweetest to see them hug. She doesn't like when Ava cries. She likes to share snacks with Ava. She likes going places with Ava. Ava is her jam.
A lover. Her Daddy. Her Mommy. Her family. She adores us and tells us constantly.

Tori gets sweeter, funnier & sassier every day and it is the biggest blessing in life to watch her grow. I know she's my kid so maybe I'm a bit partial, but she's IT.

My girl. My love. My best friend. My soul mate. Happy 4th birthday.