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Dear lordy, I can hardly believe I am 30 today. I was just 17, parked in a Sheetz parking lot, blaring my music with all of my friends stuffed in my car, waiting to see whose parents were out of town so we could go hang (haha sorry Mom and Dad). And now, here I am, 30 years old. Married with 2 kids and one on the way.
I'm not feeling weird, sad or nervous at all about my 30's. My 20's were such a decade of transition. I spent the first 5 years of my 20's trying to figure out who I was. Such a mess Ill tell ya. Lots of mistakes. Lots of confusion. Lots of putting Dan through the ringer. Lots of putting my parents through the ringer. Lots of trying to adjust to the next phase. Even when Dan and I got married, I spent the first year trying to figure out how to be a wife and newlywed without losing myself, my identity, without changing too much of what made me comfortable. Then I had Tori, and the next adjustment was to a new mom. I didn't have many friends who had kids. No one understood. I loved this baby more than anything on the planet but she changed everything. Then the transition into not caring that no one else "got it" started. The learning to stand on my own two feet. The learning how to not care if I was left out of something. The learning to not care that maybe I just wasn't going to be THAT close with every single person that I was close with before. People change. I was allowed to change. Especially if the change made me happier. Learning to accept that if someone truly loved and cared for me, they would accept my change and not judge me. I could still be a good friend, I could still be fun, I could still be so much of what made me "me".
The second half of my 20's has been adjusting into my career, my two kids, my husband and preparing to close a chapter that baby #3 is helping close (pregnancy and newborn chapter). I love my job. I love the flexibility. I know I say that all of the time, but in my late 20's it felt good to be able to say I liked what I did for a living. And that I was good at it. And that I didn't have to put my kids on the back burner to be successful in my career. And juggling motherhood and working full time has been one of my biggest successes. It is not easy, at all. Literally not one day goes by that I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I have learned to embrace it. The second half of my 20's has brought Dan and I really getting into the swing of things in our partnership. 6 years married this July and I feel more confident in us than ever before. We are truly the best of friends and I find so much comfort and support in him. My late 20's brought a new found appreciation for him, a lot of that being as I watched him become a Daddy to our kids, but man, I am really lucky. I have a guy that does it all.
Enter 30. Today I am a successful realtor. Today I have two kids and one on the way and am feeling really confident in adding another one to our brood. I work really hard to be a good Mother and a good Wife. I am surrounded by people who love me and our family. I feel supported. I feel understood. I feel confident. I feel like this decade is really going to rock my world. Bring on 30's!!!!!
Two weeks ago our sweet Ava girl turned a year and a half old! As every mom says (I know, I know, we are broken records) time flies! It seems like ever since she turned one- I cant catch up with her. Girlfriend is doing awesome.
At her 18 month check up, they did all of the typical stuff (including 3 shots my poor girl) and asked lots and lots of questions. Ava is in the 45th % for weight, the 85th % for height and her head... well, neither of my girls have had heads measuring less than the 95th % LOL. Whatever, they grow into them haha.
Ava is saying SO many words: Momma, Dadda, dog, ball, bath, hot, book, bubbles, 'that' and her new word as of today (literally) is Izzy. It is so cute! I am still trying to figure out what she is going to end up saying for Tori, we call Tori by her name and by 'sister' so I wont be surprised at all if she starts referring to her as 'sister' rather than her name.
Ava is into EVERYTHING. You cannot turn your back on her for a second. Tonight for example.. she has learned how to push the little chairs from the small table (which Tor started doing around 3 but obviously little sister has learned it quicker).. so she moved the chair to the counter while I was getting dinner together. Butter, knives, grapes, all the good stuff just sitting there waiting for her to grab. I get it all away.. realize I forgot my water bottle in the car (I had my parents on face time during this).. ran outside for maybe 30 seconds?.. come back in, and there is Ava, with the chair pushed to the other side of the counters... sitting on the floor with three tomatoes, smashing them and making her very own pasta sauce. She thought it was hilarious. She is so quick!! My parents got a kick out of that one. I wonder if she can already start having middle child syndrome if the baby isn't here yet? Because if so, I think shes there and I think its coming in the form of wild child. She is going to be my crazy one for sure.
Her hair is more blond than ever and she has these beautiful blue eyes. Those two things combined with the sweetest porcelain colored skin and pink lips- she is a real life doll baby. One that doesn't look a thing like her Momma. As she is getting older, I am starting to see more of Tori in some of the faces she makes and just like since she was born, I see Dan in her everyday. I see it the most in her eyes. Especially when she laughs.
She is a clown. Always wanting to make everyone laugh. Always wanting your attention. She has started doing this strange dance where she moves her arms all around in circles and turns them, etc and we are pretty sure its her dancing but you cant help but laugh whenever she does it.
Her top two teeth have finally broke through! She now has about 3.5 teeth lol. I hate teething so bad. The poor girl can be so moody and I just keep reminding myself about whats happening in her little mouth and how she doesn't understand it. I feel bad for the little lady.
Shes walking!!! Legit walking! Like choosing to walk to get where she wants to go! It is that adorable little drunk person walk where she is waddling around and using her arms to balance. It is adorable. Tori loves it too. She can gain some speed now and the girls will do a little chasing around the living room.
She loves to read! Every night before bed and every nap before we put her in her crib we have to read her one or two books. She even has some favorites. It is so cute. I have her and Tori doing the library summer reading program so we will have a lot of fun picking out books over the summer.
Shes nursing once a day now. The whole "she will wean now that youre pregnant" didn't happen haha. Every single morning girlfriend wants her milkies and I don't mind it at all. I am still not interested in nursing two kids at once so I am hoping she will at least wean before then but I guess we will see!
She is the greatest blessing. She brings a spark to our lives that we didn't know was missing. Tori always says she reminds her of the sun. Our little wild cat.
