Wednesday, February 27, 2013

38 weeks is scary

I had my 38 week appointment today. The past few days I have been suffering from a headache that just will not go away and have been dealing with a lot of swelling which has varied from day to day. Sometimes my face and feet are huge and then other days they don't look swollen at all. This made me nervous as I was already tested once for pre eclampsia (at 36 weeks-which was negative) and I knew a lot of the signs they tell you to look for were ones I was currently experiencing.
So today, my blood pressure was a little high, not as high as it has gotten in the past few weeks but high. On top of that, I have protein in my urine, a high enough level that I am now going to have to do a 24 hour urine test again. I also had to get blood drawn today to run the pre eclampsia test again. On top of it all, the midwife then said I am no longer to work from today "until further notice". This is hard for me, I work allll the time. I am constantly running around and on my feet, I feel like I don't even know how to relax. After I turn in my urine test I have a follow up appointment on Monday so we can look at the results and decide what to do from there. If there is still a high level of protein(which is a sign of kidney issues/could be pre eclampsia) I will have to discuss a possible induction and then also schedule a back up plan of a c section in case for any reason my cervix wouldn't respond to the induction. I. am. so. nervous.
Pregnancy in general has made me anxious, the whole not having any control thing.. It freaks me out. I guess with labor I was sort of hoping that I would feel more in control and get to make some decisions.. I have a birth plan!!! It is typed up nice and pretty and very clearly states I have zero interest in a c section unless it is an emergency situation. I know that whatever it takes to get me and the baby through labor safely and healthy is what is most important but I feel so nervous to have to think of a c section and things I feel like I would miss out on. I want to give birth to my girl and have her put right on my chest instantly. I want to breastfeed right away. A c section would make me not be able to hold my girl right away, and after 9 months of it being just the two of us bonding, it would be really hard for me to not get to experience that. I also keep having these feelings of what did I do wrong? I feel like I am constantly drinking water.. I haven't gone overboard with stress or work outs.. what could I have done differently to avoid these possibilities?
I know I am stressing so much about 'what ifs'. I don't even know if  I would need to be induced. I don't know if I will need a c section. I don't know if I will even have protein in my urine. I am beating myself up with all of the possibilities and I know I need to relax.. this certainly isn't going to help my blood pressure. I need to know everything is going to be fine. I need to know my daughter is perfect and healthy. I need to know I am going to be ok. Fingers crossed that my water will break naturally and my child and I will be healthy... maybe she'll even come this weekend?! :) :) one can wish!

Monday, February 25, 2013

My favorite

I have been feeling really needy lately.. like I want Dan to hold me despite my weight and his bad back lol.. I want Riley to sleep with me instead of like a big girl all by herself on the couch.. I just need touched lately. I am sure its the pregnancy hormones, but I cant get close enough to my husband right now. 
Last night on the couch..
Dan- "Babe, you are my favorite person, ever"
That my friends, is why I love and trust my husband more than any other person on this planet. He always knows just what to say. Babe, you are my most favorite person ever too.



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Full Term and a look back

I am full term today. If my baby girl was born right now she would not be considered premature. Her lungs should be developed enough that she would be fine breathing on her own and she would be ready to take the world on. I cannot believe it.
Some days this pregnancy has gone SO fast.. and sometimes, SO slow.
Overall, I have been really blessed. I had zero morning sickness from the beginning, no scares.. and until recently I haven't really felt any "bad parts" of pregnancy.
This whole experience has still been really surreal for me. I still look down at my growing belly and cannot believe there is a person in there. A person who will count on me to be her mom, a person who I will shape into a productive adult that will touch so many lives. I already know she is going to do something awesome. She is going to be so sweet, so caring, so considerate. She will be the person that all of her friends turn to for advice, the girl who makes everyone laugh, the girl who tries to make everyone she knows feel special.
The good, the bad, the ugly.. pregnancy is such an amazing journey. I am so lucky to have gotten to experience this miracle. I know that motherhood is going to be a whole new journey. I know there will be good and bad days.. but I will be able to look at my sweet girl, my loving husband, our house, our Riley, our jobs, our family, our friends, and I will always know that no matter what comes our way.. we are going to be alright :) 






 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Such joy

At the mall with Danny yesterday and he is about to try on dress pants for work..

Me: "Babe can you find me a chair? I need to sit for a little"
-we turn the corner to the changing room and there is a really sweet old lady waiting there for her husband
Old lady: "Wow you really do need a chair..when are you due? Cant be much longer"
Me: "Haha yep in just about 3 weeks"
Old lady: (yells into dressing room to her husband) "Joe, don't you come out here naked! There is a lady about to drop at any second"
Old Man: "Oh man, if shes about to drop then I wont come out at all, she definitely WILL pop that baby out!"
Old lady: "What are you having?"
Me: "A little girl, baby Victoria"
Old lady: (comes closer to me and sort of whispers) "Im not really supposed to say this because I have a grandson too.. but little girls really are the best. They are so fun, happy, full of such joy... and have you seen those accessories?!"

Little girl, I am dreaming of you and cannot wait for you to get here <3

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day

5 years of Valentine's.. and I never get tired of sharing them with you my dear, dear husband.

The man who I tricked into believing I was a basketball star, the man who met me at a really crazy point of my life yet stood beside me as I worked through it, the man who supports me in my career, the man who is always my biggest cheerleader, the man who makes me laugh, the man who I cannot wait to see everyday, the man who is the father of my child, the man I have built my present and future with, my lover, my best friend.

I promise to always cherish and value you and our relationship. I promise to always give you the best parts of me.

You make me so proud and so happy. I love you.
 
 

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Weddings Galore

2013 is a HUGE wedding year for Dan and I. When we first started dating, most of his friends had just gotten to the point of marriage or were about right there... and now, 5 years later.. my friends are there! Here is the line up..

May 18th- Shannon and JP- Heritage Hills =)
I met Shannon at Clipper and we instantly hit it off. She is by far the best thing I took from that job. She is so sweet, funny, and I feel like we have been friends our entire lives. LOVE her, am so happy for her and JP and cannot wait for their wedding!
June 1st- Erica and James- Bent Creek
This wedding is very special for many reasons. Dan and I are both in this wedding.. I have been friends with Erica for about 3-4 years, we met at Hollywood Tans and Dan and James hit it off ever since introducing them shortly after E and I met.
July 13th- Meredith and Travis- Yorktowne Hotel
Meredith and I have been best friends since the 6th grade. I am so excited to be a bridesmaid in her wedding and the other girls in the wedding happen to be some of my best friends. Her and Travy have dated for forever and I love the two of them together. They are a great fit. This wedding will be a ton of fun also because Bertha is coming home from Florida and I cant wait to be reunited!
July 20th- Matt and Mandi- Riverdale Manor
Matt and I became very close at Clipper. His fiancé Mandi is so, so sweet. They don't live in Lancaster anymore but when they are in town I like to try to see them. Luckily our friendship is one that is not high maintanence at all, as soon as we all get together it is very fun. Riverdale manor is so gorgeous..this will be a fab wedding.
July 22nd- Tony and Krista- York, PA
Tony is my cousin and he and I have always have a very special and close relationship. When I was considering getting my confirmation at church, he would have been my choice for God Father. Krista has been such a great addition to the family, she has fit in so naturally.
November 2nd- Regan and Erin- Scranton, PA
Regan and Dan have been best friends since college. They were in the same fraternity and have remained close since graduating. He and his fiancé Erin have been together for awhile and we are so happy for them to move onto this next chapter of their life.

I am excited to shop for wedding outfits lol... some ideas:


Monday, February 4, 2013

The Debbie Downer

If there is one thing I truly cannot stand right now, it is the pregnancy Debbie downer. New moms, you know the one.. the "don't get your hopes up she will probably never sleep" downer. You know what lady? Maybe your kid never slept because you didn't teach them how to. The "bye bye date nights" lady.. maybe your husband should still have been your priority lady, your kid will grow up and move on with their life, the person you will have at the end of the day is your husband, treat your marriage with respect...the "you will never have time to exercise" lady, maybe taking walks with my child and playing in our yard will keep me motivated, ever think of that?!... the "your body will never be the same" lady..I am 25 years old and Ill say it loud and proud, I want to be a milf. I want my husband to come home to me every night and think 'Wow my wife is hot' and I already exercise people, what is it with everyone thinking you have a kid and then you stop living for yourself? And even if my body isn't the same, that is ok!!! My body carried a life.

 IT DRIVES ME INSANE.
 
I AM ALREADY PREGNANT
I CANNOT AND DO NOT WANT TO TURN BACK TIME
MY MARRIAGE WILL ALWAYS BE MY FIRST PRIORITY
I WILL BE SUPER MOM
I WILL BE THE BEST 'ME'
DONT GIVE ME ADVICE UNLESS I ASK FOR IT
DONT TELL ME YOUR HORROR STORIES
EVERY MOTHER HAS THEIR OWN JOURNEY
 
 
Ok, I think I'm done for now LOL.. and I think Im hungry, actually, I am definitely hungry. Hungry pregnant women tend to freak out a little. Sorry lol.
 
 
 
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