I couldn't come up with a more fitting title... really. Over it. SO, SO, SO over it. Over what you may ask?.. breastfeeding. It has officially taken its toll.
In 2 months of breastfeeding I have now officially had mastitis twice and a pump break on me. I have cried, cried and cried some more over breastfeeding.. one too many times for my sanity.
So this is it, the final straw came with a 2am lump, a ton of pain and a trip to triage (again) at 5am.
I am on an antibiotic now and am going to continue pumping until that is up as recommended by my midwife and then I am officially starting the weaning process. I don't know any rules or 'how to's' for this other than to start stretching out my pumping sessions more and more until they diminish.
I am very grateful I was able to give my daughter breastmilk for the two first months of her life and I have been able to freeze a decent amount of milk so I will be able to get 1-2 months of supplementing before having to go fully on formula.
Mom guilt SUCKS. I feel awful about stopping but I definitely cannot keep putting my body through this month after month. It is so hard, so exhausting and just straight up painful.
A big thank you to everyone who has been so supportive.
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Sage tea helps to stop your supply. My milk came in the day of Norah's funeral. It hurt every time someone hugged me. Nothing like burying your baby and feeling the ache of the milk that was meant to sustain her life as each family member and friend hugs you to offer their condolences...all in the same day. Absolutely awful. I think it took about two weeks of doubling up with tight sports bras, sage tea, and cabbage leaves for my supply to dry up. Honestly, the cabbage leaves don't do anything but provide a cool compress that molds nicely to the breast. The leaves are more for pain relief than actually stopping your supply. The Sage tea is supposed to actually facilitate the process of ending your supply, though.
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