the one where girls run the world

As a mother of two daughters, I find myself trying REALLY, REALLY hard to raise these super strong women. I want them to know what they want. I want them to know they can do anything they want to do. I want them to date around. I want them to be confident. I want them to get an education. I want them to light up the room. I want them to not take shit (sorry for the language). I want them to stand up for what they believe in. I want them to be brave. I want them to try new things. I want them to experience everything.
In this moment of their lives (specifically Tori) it is hard. I'm scared I am creating a brat. Ugh, I hate to say that. I don't even know if it is the right word. She is very grateful for the things and people she has in her life. Yes, already at the age of 3 I can see that. I can see it in the way that she will say to her Mammy or Pop Pop "Thank you for coming over to play with me". So that's why I don't know if 'brat' is the right word. But the girl knows what she wants.
She might not want you to sit next to her. She might HAVE to have that specific sticker, not the other one you peeled off the sticker book. Today she wants a ponytail. No, she only liked oranges yesterday, not today. She isn't great at sharing. She yells when she gets frustrated. She huffs and puffs.
I know most of that stuff is toddler-hood. I guess I'm just nervous about how long I let it go until it turns into her personality. How do I figure out the balance between strong and stubborn? Knowing what she wants and being too picky?

My tough girl. In so many ways. She is already giving me a run for my money.

My gosh I love her.