the one where I reflect on my 30th birthday

Dear lordy, I can hardly believe I am 30 today. I was just 17, parked in a Sheetz parking lot, blaring my music with all of my friends stuffed in my car, waiting to see whose parents were out of town so we could go hang (haha sorry Mom and Dad). And now, here I am, 30 years old. Married with 2 kids and one on the way.

I'm not feeling weird, sad or nervous at all about my 30's. My 20's were such a decade of transition. I spent the first 5 years of my 20's trying to figure out who I was. Such a mess Ill tell ya. Lots of mistakes. Lots of confusion. Lots of putting Dan through the ringer.  Lots of putting my parents through the ringer. Lots of trying to adjust to the next phase. Even when Dan and I got married, I spent the first year trying to figure out how to be a wife and newlywed without losing myself, my identity, without changing too much of what made me comfortable. Then I had Tori, and the next adjustment was to a new mom. I didn't have many friends who had kids. No one understood. I loved this baby more than anything on the planet but she changed everything. Then the transition into not caring that no one else "got it" started. The learning to stand on my own two feet. The learning how to not care if I was left out of something. The learning to not care that maybe I just wasn't going to be THAT close with every single person that I was close with before. People change. I was allowed to change. Especially if the change made me happier. Learning to accept that if someone truly loved and cared for me, they would accept my change and not judge me. I could still be a good friend, I could still be fun, I could still be so much of what made me "me".

The second half of my 20's has been adjusting into my career, my two kids, my husband and preparing to close a chapter that baby #3 is helping close (pregnancy and newborn chapter). I love my job. I love the flexibility. I know I say that all of the time, but in my late 20's it felt good to be able to say I liked what I did for a living. And that I was good at it. And that I didn't have to put my kids on the back burner to be successful in my career. And juggling motherhood and working full time has been one of my biggest successes. It is not easy, at all. Literally not one day goes by that I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off but I have learned to embrace it. The second half of my 20's has brought Dan and I really getting into the swing of things in our partnership. 6 years married this July and I feel more confident in us than ever before. We are truly the best of friends and I find so much comfort and support in him. My late 20's brought a new found appreciation for him, a lot of that being as I watched him become a Daddy to our kids, but man, I am really lucky. I have a guy that does it all.

Enter 30. Today I am a successful realtor. Today I have two kids and one on the way and am feeling really confident in adding another one to our brood. I work really hard to be a good Mother and a good Wife. I am surrounded by people who love me and our family. I feel supported. I feel understood. I feel confident. I feel like this decade is really going to rock my world. Bring on 30's!!!!!