the one where I finally post a life update

Oops, I seem to have missed January.

Life has been crazy and that is my only excuse.

Dans grandmother recently moved in with us while she is figuring out a more long term plan as far as her life goes. She recently had some health issues (I have decided that once you hit 80- getting old sucks lol) and needs some assistance as she is rebuilding her strength and just in general taking on a new chapter of life. The previous owners of our home had a son who was in a wheelchair so they had a handicap accessible bedroom and full bathroom added onto the first floor of the home when he had his accident. Dan, my dear husband with the huge heart- felt that it was a sign that we should help his grandmother since logistically we had the best set up for her. I'm Italian and we take care of people for life. Its just how it is. So I got on board. I know that if this was my grandmother (who I am very close with), I would need Dan to be understanding and willing to help as well. We are a family and this is what family is for.

We had been using the first floor bedroom as a playroom. Tori wasn't thrilled about losing her playroom but we explained to her that the loss is only temporary and now she gets to have a lot of the toys in her bedroom. And in the dining room. And in the sunroom. A little bit of toys everywhere lol.

Tori has been sleeping terribly the past couple of months and it is really starting to take its toll on me. Mostly because it is starting to take its toll on her. She is tired. ALL DAY. She just doesn't want to sleep. She doesn't nap (and hasn't for years). And a tired toddler means a completely insane toddler. I cant reason with her. She hates anything and everything. Lavendar oils, nightlights, ceiling lights, star/window lights, mattress on the floor, stuffed animals, take toys away, give rewards.. we have tried.it.all.

And on a lighter note- its February. This month brings settlement(s), a child-free dinner with my husband (trading babysitting services is the best idea ever!), 3 childrens birthday parties and much more! Pray for our family that Tori starts getting some sleep!

A pic of Me, Tori, Izzy and Ava at Hersheys Chocolate World last weekend :)

 

the one with NYE 2017

So I love the New year! Like love it, love it. The idea of a new year and the chance for a new beginning, I eat it up.
Typically my resolutions include measureable things like "get to the gym X amount of days".. "Lose X amount of pounds".. etc.
This year- rather than my "to do" list of resolutions, I decided to mix in a few measurable goals, and a few things I would like to try to do or continue to do to just overall work on myself and my relationships.

-Sell 3 more houses this year than I did last year.
-Continue to reach out to others for play dates, hang out sessions, etc. I struggle with sometimes feeling that I am the one who has to reach out to others to see them.. with that being said- it is ok. It is ok to allow myself to be vulnerable.
-Stop allowing IG or FB to make me think anyone has it more together than I do!
-Get a kid free date night once a month with Dan.
-Get to the gym 3/4 times a week.
-Have a date once a month where we separate the girls and let them have one on one time with Mom and/or Dad.
-Practice patience. Breathing. Calmness. Especially when it comes to Tori.
-Get outside everyday (weather permitting).
-Practice my photography way more often (especially now that I have my 50mm lens!)
-Meet more people.
-Donate clothes and/or toys once a month.
-Deep clean the house once a month.
-Curse less often.
-Put on makeup everyday. Every single time I put makeup on, I feel so much better about myself. I need to do it for me!
*I'm sure I will be adding more and more along the way!

Last night, Dan and I (along with a bunch of friends) went to the Reeds house to celebrate the New year. We figured out this was year #7 that they have hosted and we genuinely enjoy it every year. No lines for drinks. Lots of food. Whatever music we want. Our best friends. Cant beat it. Lots of beer pong, a couple shots, dance parties and lots and lots of laughing. Shortly after the ball drop we headed back home with Meg and Ray where we then went to our neighbors house who had a party, had a few more drinks, a few more laughs and went home to bed by 1:30ish. I was so beat. Tori woke up around 3ish, Ava at 5ish.. and luckily, both Mom and Dad got to squeeze in naps. Dan had to go to New York to handle some family stuff and I then took the girls and we headed to my parents for the day. More food, more silly-ness, the kids being crazy and then the girls both crashed on the way home. I was able to get them both in bed (coats and shoes off) without waking either of them! A late Christmas miracle :)

 

HAPPY 2017! CHEERS TO IT BEING THE BEST YEAR YET!

 

 

 

the one where Ava is 13 months old

I know some people hate the whole "how many months old is your kid thing".. but I feel like since Ava is JUST over one.. I can get away with it.

There has been a lot going on in Ava's world lately.

At her one year check up we mentioned to the pediatrician that Ava had not been pulling herself up into standing position yet. No standing, no walking. Little nuggets preferred method of transportation is being carried. By Mommy. On my right hip. Second- crawling. She is really fast!

Pediatrician looked at her little leggies and said her muscle tone was great and as of right now, nothing to worry about. She said Ava might just be a little lazy. She said if by 15 months old she wasn't at least pulling herself up into standing position, we would have to talk early intervention but it was likely she "would just start out of nowhere"..

Fast forward from the doctor appointment to just two weeks ago- little girl is pulling herself up onto everything. She especially loves pulling herself up at Tori's little kiddo table because she loves to see what sister is doing up there, what sister is eating, what sh is painting and she especially loves pushing the buttons on sisters kindle while shes in the middle of a really good video. Nothing like making your big sister push you right back down into sitting position when you have just mastered standing lol. Tori has a fish named Piper who is usually on the table but that has now become a potential deathly situation for Piper so she has moved to the dining room table. She is very thankful for that lol.

Now fast forward to two days ago- Ava, our little baby who only just started pulling herself into standing position CLIMBED THE WHOLE WAY UP THE STAIRS by herself. Without anyone noticing. She is quick!!!! I was on the computer catching up on some work emails and Dan and Tori were upstairs in her bedroom.. (Dan was putting together Toris new dollhouse).. Dan yelled down to me to check on Ava, I look over and shes sitting at the bottom of the stairs playing with shoes (one of her favorite hobbies).. I swear about 3 minutes later, I hear Tori say "UH OH!!!" and I look over and shes not there! Ava crawled the entire way up the hardwood stairs to see what sister and Daddy doing. I about died. Dan about died/killed me. Tori thought it was hilarious.

I totally forgot how quickly everything happens once the ball gets rolling for the little ones. One minute shes crawling, the next shes climbing stairs like a boss lady.

I am so happy she is doing well and starting to get so mobile. The only bittersweet part about it is that it means my baby is getting big.. and that soon enough, I wont have a little baby anymore. Thank God she still nurses and doesn't sleep through the night LOL (kidding, I could use sleep haha).. those little things remind me she is still a baby and still needs me. Maybe my hip will start getting some rest. Which sort of makes me sad.

the one with a nursiversary

I may have just made that word up.

We are four days out from Ava's first birthday which means so many things. It means my baby is ONE. It means we survived year one of life as a family of four. It means I have NURSED MY BABY FOR ONE YEAR.

 

Guysssssssssssssssssssssss- I cannot even. Seriously. One year!!

One year of never leaving my babys side for more than 3 hours at a time.
One year of wearing clothes that made my boobs easily accessible.
One year of never leaving my kids overnight.
One year of watching what I eat so it doesn't upset my babys belly.
One year of watching what meds I take so it doesn't effect my baby.
One year of not washing bottles and nipples.
One year of wondering if I would be shamed for breastfeeding in public.
One year of planning my days around nursing my baby.
One year of planning work around nursing my baby.
One year of answering questions like "are you going to nurse her til shes 16?!"
One year of an intimate one on one connection with my baby.
One year of soaking in every nursing moment just in case this is my last go of all things baby.
One year of my body not really being "mine".
One year of nursing through sickness.

One year of nursing.

I survived the tears, the questions (so. many. questions).........

We made it. A whole year and Ava is going strong.

And now on that note: Anyone have any tips for weaning? Mom needs a break lol.

the one with Ava's first birthday party

Being that Avas birthday is right around the holiday crazy time I decided to host her birthday party ten days before her actual birthday. I'm glad I went with that date as it seemed that because of doing it early, almost everyone we invited was able to come.
We had the party at the Boettcher museum which is a rental we got through Manheim Township. It has a rustic feel and is in the middle of a park with lots of trees and trails around so it felt really cozy and went well with our FALL FEST theme.
The original plan included pumpkin painting, playing with balls/balloons out on the stone patio.. a warm apple cider drink.. and then life happened. I ended up with strep and it totally derailed a bunch of plans that I wanted to complete the week of the party. Throw in Tori getting ANOTHER double ear infection and the fact that Summer was the only person able to help me with set up and picking up the cake etc, the day of was a bit hectic.

DECOR: I got a bunch of red, yellow and orange décor. Fall leaves were spread out on all of the tables. My mom got me a bunch of cute pumpkins to use on tables also- so I used them for décor around the cakes and food table. I also made an adorable (if I do say so myself) banner using fall colored cloth and clipped some leaves on it.. then I had a banner of Avas "monthly" pics that we have taken over the last year (missing month 10 of course because well, me). Erica picked up a "1" gold balloon for me (which she pointed out looked like a penis LOL) and we blew up a few red balloons for the kids to kick around and play with.
CAKE: I got the cake from Oregon Dairy.. a spice cake with cream cheese icing. DELICIOUS. Literally, everyone was raving about it. I had two pieces (oops). And I would be lying if I didn't say I wish I had more so I could have had another piece today. It was decorated with pumpkins and Ava even got her very own smash cake which had a pumpkin on it and a #1 & was sparkly and sweet. I loved it.
FOOD: Dan smoked some pork a few weeks ago & froze it so we unfroze/reheated it for the party. It was AWESOME. Dan is so, so good at smoking bbq. It is his specialty. We also had pasta forno courtesy of my parents and an Italian meat and cheese tray, they also brought buffalo chicken dip and then Dans mom brought a veggie tray and my Grandma brought chips. Plenty of food. And it almost all was eaten, so we definitely filled everyone up.
PICTURES: I was way too busy to get my fancy pants camera out and honestly, I'm glad I didn't. I got to really take it all in, mingle with everyone and watch while my Ava girl was celebrated with everyone we love. The only bummer: my phone died while at the party LOL and the only charger was in the car, so I had to rely FULLY on everyone else which sucked and is why I didn't get as many pictures of the party as I had hoped.
PRESENTS: We didn't open gifts at the party because Tori was sick and Ava wasn't very interested in anyone or anything that wasn't 1-cake 2-Mommy. I did however open them all last night and today and man, girlfriend made out. She got some of the cutest clothes ever and a bunch of fun and loud toys.

Ava's first bday party = great success!

the one where Ava is 11 months old

Ava Estelle

Eleven Months

 

Size:

Ava is about 22 lbs give or take and wearing size 12-18 months
 

Health:

She has a runny nose and cough which sucks. Poor girl. I hope this isn't a sign of what is to come this winter.

Feeding:
 

11 months breastfed and going, going, going. I give her solids during every meal time and she lovessssss food. Especially nuggets.. and cheese.. and chicken.. and eggs.. and yeah, everything.

 

Sleep:
 

Ava is waking up once a night or not at all. I am so ready for no more middle of the night wake ups its not even funny. Her naps are either.. one morning nap and one afternoon nap or one super long middle of the day nap.

 

Extras:

-She dances!!!
-She loves to give hugs.
-She makes dinosaur noises.
-Can drink out of a straw.
-Her hair is much longer at this age than Tori's was.
-She loves playing peek-a-boo.
-She loves to facetime.
-She loves looking at pictures of her family.
-Loves music and lights.
-Hates getting her nose wiped.

Cant believe we are planning her first birthday! Such a fast year!

 

the one where Trump and I go way back

Lets rewind to a little girl being raised in a traditional and old school Italian family. I knew at a very young age (I'm talking elementary school) that I didn't want to marry into another Italian family. No exaggeration, 7 or 8 years old and I knew that.
My family is off the boat Italian. Not the never-has-seen-Italy kind. The legit, born and raised in Italy kind and they have Italian culture deep in their soul.
When I was growing up.. the girls did things like cleaned off the kitchen table because I mean, boys don't do kitchen things. My brother took out the trash because well, girls don't take out the trash. I hated that. I hated that my role was very early on supposed to be that of the "woman role" (along w my sister) and my brothers role was immediately to follow in that of the "man role". I watched at a young age as women like my Mom, my Aunts, older female cousins.. worked in their husbands, dads, uncles pizza shops.. because when the pizza shops were first starting, they couldn't afford to hire too much help because they just didn't have the money to pay anyone. So these same women.. went to work.. 12 hour days.. with their husbands.. and took their kids along. So while they were assisting their husbands with things like answering phones, making food, cleaning tables, mopping floors.. they were also changing diapers, playing, kissing boo-boos, helping with homework. I saw them as Super Women. Wow. They really did it all. These same women who did it all.. went home.. and then did some more. They did laundry. They washed dishes. They scheduled appointments. They vacuumed. They put away clothes. They went to the grocery store. Literally, did it all. I watched as a lot of these women did it ALL and never asked for a thank you. Never asked for a break. I watched as some of them (my mom included) did get those things. They got thanks. They got gifts. They were appreciated. I also watched a lot of them not. I watched a lot of "you don't do enough". I watched a lot of women getting run to the ground. I didn't get it. I didn't understand why I could watch some of my boy cousins play video games for hours on end while I got asked to help set the dinner table. I didn't understand why those same cousins could come eat and then go right back to playing video games while I had to then clean off the table. I didn't understand why the boys could play outside in the dark but I had to come in before it got dark. Or why they could make jokes about girlfriends but I couldn't date until late high school. Or why I had to get good grades(obv not a bad thing) and they didn't. I didn't understand why I would be told to learn how to cook for my future husband. I didn't understand why comments were made to me about my weight and how I looked or dressed. I felt at a young age that men had it "easy" and had a "privileged" life... a life where I would  never feel that way, no matter what I did because as a woman, nothing would be enough.
I have already been fighting so hard for this to not be what my daughters see. I want them to know in their hearts they can truly do anything and everything they want. They can be anyone they want to be. That marriage is a TEAM. That a relationship does not define them. Equality. They have choices. That they are enough.

Trump emulates everything that I hated in how I saw men. A guy who thinks he is above everyone else because he has money. A man who thinks women are here for the sole purpose of his wants and needs. He brings out the feeling I get at the thought of women not getting to make their own reproductive decisions. He brings out that feeling of rape being the womans fault if she was drunk. He brings out the feeling I get when I imagine how men look at women as objects. He brings out the feelings I get when I think of women being unappreciated.
I actually do not consider myself a democrat or a republican. I have beliefs that fall under both. I just really, truly, hate everything that Trump stands for.

(I would like to note that I am not a man hater lol. I have the best husband, ever. Like literally that has ever existed. Who regularly makes me feel happy and that I know appreciates me for what I bring to this family. A man who splits duties with me because we are in this life together. And another side note: things have changed over time as far as the cultural side of my family which is great and I am hopeful to continue to see a shift.)