the one with marriage advice from an expert

Hahahaha ok so I'm not actually an expert. Not even sort of a little bit actually-but this is what I can tell you- in 6 years, I have learned a thing or two. Some of them were things I learned right away but with marriage, you are constantly evolving and learning. I have a couple people close to me that are getting married this year and so that is what inspired this post.

1-Let yourself be vulnerable. Bring your guard down. Let your spouse truly and openly have full access to your heart. If you are marrying this person, you can trust that this person wont abuse that.
2- Do not let your children be more important than your spouse. I'm sure there are moms who are going to read that and think I'm being harsh but I'm serious. Of course your children are important and special and need you.. but I hate to break it to you- they grow up. They move on. They fall in love. They move away. They start their own families. Do you know who is going to be with you when that happens? Your husband. Your wife. That's who. Do not forget that your relationship needs to be nurtured. Your children are watching.
3- Tell your significant other that you love them every single day. Really. Life gets crazy and sometimes you will barely see each other or speak, but make it a point to do this.
4- Sometimes life is boring. Sorry but its true. The days can run together. Especially when you add kids to the mix. Work. Kids. Dinner. Bedtime. Do not live in a fantasy world where you're constantly thinking about how to make things new and exciting. Don't get me wrong- you should absolutely mix things up in life.. try something new , go somewhere new..You have to find the "new and exciting" things in the chapter of life that you are in with your significant other.
5- Communicate. I know that's so duh. But seriously. Communicate. You don't feel your significant other is giving you enough attention? Tell them. You have packed lunch for your husband or wife everyday this week without so much as a text message "thank you" and its on your mind? Tell them. With that said, find the balance between telling them and nit picking. Choose your battles.
6- People change. I think the hardest part of this is that people always change and some couples do not think they are changing together. You CAN change together. Your wants and needs will change and if you go back to #5 and communicate about these things, you can and will figure out the transitions together. Dan and I started dating when I was 20 and he was 26.. we are now almost 30 and 36. We are talking about almost a decade together. Of course we have changed. Of course our wants and needs in life are different. But the best part of our relationship is the genuine support and acceptance we give each other.
7-Remember why you got married in the first place. Remember all of the laughing. Remember the trips. Remember the goals you have reached together. Remember the family you have built.
8-Marriage is work. That might not sit well for some either but hey, it is. Think of it this way- if you go to work every single day and do the same thing every single day and never do anything to take your position to the next level- will you get the raise? Will you get the promotion? No. You have to work at your marriage everyday. What can you do to be the best husband/wife you can be?

I certainly don't have all of the answers nor will I pretend to.  I mess up every single day. I'm tired. I'm a mom of two young kids who sometimes chooses sleep over a cuddle session with my husband. With that said, I truly believe in the sanctity of marriage and everything that marriage represents. I also know that every relationship is different. 6 years of marriage has been work, but it has been one of the best jobs of my life. I am so truly thankful to have been blessed with such an amazing partner. My husband, the most amazing father. I love and appreciate you, every single day.

the one where I am about to have a four year old

Why does four seem SO much older than three?
Ill tell you why- because it is.
In toddler world-every single year is a significant change. Maybe one day, when Tori is 7 turning 8 or 14 turning 15 it wont seem like much of a difference, but right now- it seems like each year brings on a whole new world.

Since Tori was born-parenting her has been a challenge. Challenge doesn't always mean a bad thing. Sometimes it means exciting. Sometimes it means learning new things about myself. Sometimes it means pushing yourself to new limits. Sometimes it means seeing yourself in your child. Sometimes it means questioning everything. Sometimes it means getting comfortable with a stage, just for that stage to come and go in the blink of an eye.

I should have known from my 30 hour labor/delivery that this was going to be me the ride of my life.

Tori is..
SO FUNNY. Seriously. She is SUCH a jokester and loves to make people laugh.
Smart. She catches onto everything. She asks a LOT of questions. Lots and lots of "why" and "how" and "where"
Beautiful. Her hair is past her butt. Its curly. It has the most beautiful highlights. Her blue eyes sparkle. Her smile is huge. She is a real life doll baby.
Sassy. Since birth she has known exactly what she wants. And she gets it.
Charming. She always knows exactly what to say and when to say it. "I love you Mommy".. "You look pretty today Mommy"..
Aware. She reads people. She is always wondering how people feel in different situations and what it was that she did to make them feel that way.
A foodie. Loves food. Tomatoes, avocado, crab, oreo cookies, cheez its, strawberries, chicken, mac and cheese.. about 90% of the things we put in front of her she will eat. Shes just like her daddy.
An awesome big sister. She is obsessed with her baby sister. They have the most amazing embrace every morning. Its the sweetest to see them hug. She doesn't like when Ava cries. She likes to share snacks with Ava. She likes going places with Ava. Ava is her jam.
A lover. Her Daddy. Her Mommy. Her family. She adores us and tells us constantly.

Tori gets sweeter, funnier & sassier every day and it is the biggest blessing in life to watch her grow. I know she's my kid so maybe I'm a bit partial, but she's IT.

My girl. My love. My best friend. My soul mate. Happy 4th birthday.

the one where I finally post a life update

Oops, I seem to have missed January.

Life has been crazy and that is my only excuse.

Dans grandmother recently moved in with us while she is figuring out a more long term plan as far as her life goes. She recently had some health issues (I have decided that once you hit 80- getting old sucks lol) and needs some assistance as she is rebuilding her strength and just in general taking on a new chapter of life. The previous owners of our home had a son who was in a wheelchair so they had a handicap accessible bedroom and full bathroom added onto the first floor of the home when he had his accident. Dan, my dear husband with the huge heart- felt that it was a sign that we should help his grandmother since logistically we had the best set up for her. I'm Italian and we take care of people for life. Its just how it is. So I got on board. I know that if this was my grandmother (who I am very close with), I would need Dan to be understanding and willing to help as well. We are a family and this is what family is for.

We had been using the first floor bedroom as a playroom. Tori wasn't thrilled about losing her playroom but we explained to her that the loss is only temporary and now she gets to have a lot of the toys in her bedroom. And in the dining room. And in the sunroom. A little bit of toys everywhere lol.

Tori has been sleeping terribly the past couple of months and it is really starting to take its toll on me. Mostly because it is starting to take its toll on her. She is tired. ALL DAY. She just doesn't want to sleep. She doesn't nap (and hasn't for years). And a tired toddler means a completely insane toddler. I cant reason with her. She hates anything and everything. Lavendar oils, nightlights, ceiling lights, star/window lights, mattress on the floor, stuffed animals, take toys away, give rewards.. we have tried.it.all.

And on a lighter note- its February. This month brings settlement(s), a child-free dinner with my husband (trading babysitting services is the best idea ever!), 3 childrens birthday parties and much more! Pray for our family that Tori starts getting some sleep!

A pic of Me, Tori, Izzy and Ava at Hersheys Chocolate World last weekend :)

 

the one with NYE 2017

So I love the New year! Like love it, love it. The idea of a new year and the chance for a new beginning, I eat it up.
Typically my resolutions include measureable things like "get to the gym X amount of days".. "Lose X amount of pounds".. etc.
This year- rather than my "to do" list of resolutions, I decided to mix in a few measurable goals, and a few things I would like to try to do or continue to do to just overall work on myself and my relationships.

-Sell 3 more houses this year than I did last year.
-Continue to reach out to others for play dates, hang out sessions, etc. I struggle with sometimes feeling that I am the one who has to reach out to others to see them.. with that being said- it is ok. It is ok to allow myself to be vulnerable.
-Stop allowing IG or FB to make me think anyone has it more together than I do!
-Get a kid free date night once a month with Dan.
-Get to the gym 3/4 times a week.
-Have a date once a month where we separate the girls and let them have one on one time with Mom and/or Dad.
-Practice patience. Breathing. Calmness. Especially when it comes to Tori.
-Get outside everyday (weather permitting).
-Practice my photography way more often (especially now that I have my 50mm lens!)
-Meet more people.
-Donate clothes and/or toys once a month.
-Deep clean the house once a month.
-Curse less often.
-Put on makeup everyday. Every single time I put makeup on, I feel so much better about myself. I need to do it for me!
*I'm sure I will be adding more and more along the way!

Last night, Dan and I (along with a bunch of friends) went to the Reeds house to celebrate the New year. We figured out this was year #7 that they have hosted and we genuinely enjoy it every year. No lines for drinks. Lots of food. Whatever music we want. Our best friends. Cant beat it. Lots of beer pong, a couple shots, dance parties and lots and lots of laughing. Shortly after the ball drop we headed back home with Meg and Ray where we then went to our neighbors house who had a party, had a few more drinks, a few more laughs and went home to bed by 1:30ish. I was so beat. Tori woke up around 3ish, Ava at 5ish.. and luckily, both Mom and Dad got to squeeze in naps. Dan had to go to New York to handle some family stuff and I then took the girls and we headed to my parents for the day. More food, more silly-ness, the kids being crazy and then the girls both crashed on the way home. I was able to get them both in bed (coats and shoes off) without waking either of them! A late Christmas miracle :)

 

HAPPY 2017! CHEERS TO IT BEING THE BEST YEAR YET!

 

 

 

the one where Ava is 13 months old

I know some people hate the whole "how many months old is your kid thing".. but I feel like since Ava is JUST over one.. I can get away with it.

There has been a lot going on in Ava's world lately.

At her one year check up we mentioned to the pediatrician that Ava had not been pulling herself up into standing position yet. No standing, no walking. Little nuggets preferred method of transportation is being carried. By Mommy. On my right hip. Second- crawling. She is really fast!

Pediatrician looked at her little leggies and said her muscle tone was great and as of right now, nothing to worry about. She said Ava might just be a little lazy. She said if by 15 months old she wasn't at least pulling herself up into standing position, we would have to talk early intervention but it was likely she "would just start out of nowhere"..

Fast forward from the doctor appointment to just two weeks ago- little girl is pulling herself up onto everything. She especially loves pulling herself up at Tori's little kiddo table because she loves to see what sister is doing up there, what sister is eating, what sh is painting and she especially loves pushing the buttons on sisters kindle while shes in the middle of a really good video. Nothing like making your big sister push you right back down into sitting position when you have just mastered standing lol. Tori has a fish named Piper who is usually on the table but that has now become a potential deathly situation for Piper so she has moved to the dining room table. She is very thankful for that lol.

Now fast forward to two days ago- Ava, our little baby who only just started pulling herself into standing position CLIMBED THE WHOLE WAY UP THE STAIRS by herself. Without anyone noticing. She is quick!!!! I was on the computer catching up on some work emails and Dan and Tori were upstairs in her bedroom.. (Dan was putting together Toris new dollhouse).. Dan yelled down to me to check on Ava, I look over and shes sitting at the bottom of the stairs playing with shoes (one of her favorite hobbies).. I swear about 3 minutes later, I hear Tori say "UH OH!!!" and I look over and shes not there! Ava crawled the entire way up the hardwood stairs to see what sister and Daddy doing. I about died. Dan about died/killed me. Tori thought it was hilarious.

I totally forgot how quickly everything happens once the ball gets rolling for the little ones. One minute shes crawling, the next shes climbing stairs like a boss lady.

I am so happy she is doing well and starting to get so mobile. The only bittersweet part about it is that it means my baby is getting big.. and that soon enough, I wont have a little baby anymore. Thank God she still nurses and doesn't sleep through the night LOL (kidding, I could use sleep haha).. those little things remind me she is still a baby and still needs me. Maybe my hip will start getting some rest. Which sort of makes me sad.

the one with a nursiversary

I may have just made that word up.

We are four days out from Ava's first birthday which means so many things. It means my baby is ONE. It means we survived year one of life as a family of four. It means I have NURSED MY BABY FOR ONE YEAR.

 

Guysssssssssssssssssssssss- I cannot even. Seriously. One year!!

One year of never leaving my babys side for more than 3 hours at a time.
One year of wearing clothes that made my boobs easily accessible.
One year of never leaving my kids overnight.
One year of watching what I eat so it doesn't upset my babys belly.
One year of watching what meds I take so it doesn't effect my baby.
One year of not washing bottles and nipples.
One year of wondering if I would be shamed for breastfeeding in public.
One year of planning my days around nursing my baby.
One year of planning work around nursing my baby.
One year of answering questions like "are you going to nurse her til shes 16?!"
One year of an intimate one on one connection with my baby.
One year of soaking in every nursing moment just in case this is my last go of all things baby.
One year of my body not really being "mine".
One year of nursing through sickness.

One year of nursing.

I survived the tears, the questions (so. many. questions).........

We made it. A whole year and Ava is going strong.

And now on that note: Anyone have any tips for weaning? Mom needs a break lol.

the one with Ava's first birthday party

Being that Avas birthday is right around the holiday crazy time I decided to host her birthday party ten days before her actual birthday. I'm glad I went with that date as it seemed that because of doing it early, almost everyone we invited was able to come.
We had the party at the Boettcher museum which is a rental we got through Manheim Township. It has a rustic feel and is in the middle of a park with lots of trees and trails around so it felt really cozy and went well with our FALL FEST theme.
The original plan included pumpkin painting, playing with balls/balloons out on the stone patio.. a warm apple cider drink.. and then life happened. I ended up with strep and it totally derailed a bunch of plans that I wanted to complete the week of the party. Throw in Tori getting ANOTHER double ear infection and the fact that Summer was the only person able to help me with set up and picking up the cake etc, the day of was a bit hectic.

DECOR: I got a bunch of red, yellow and orange décor. Fall leaves were spread out on all of the tables. My mom got me a bunch of cute pumpkins to use on tables also- so I used them for décor around the cakes and food table. I also made an adorable (if I do say so myself) banner using fall colored cloth and clipped some leaves on it.. then I had a banner of Avas "monthly" pics that we have taken over the last year (missing month 10 of course because well, me). Erica picked up a "1" gold balloon for me (which she pointed out looked like a penis LOL) and we blew up a few red balloons for the kids to kick around and play with.
CAKE: I got the cake from Oregon Dairy.. a spice cake with cream cheese icing. DELICIOUS. Literally, everyone was raving about it. I had two pieces (oops). And I would be lying if I didn't say I wish I had more so I could have had another piece today. It was decorated with pumpkins and Ava even got her very own smash cake which had a pumpkin on it and a #1 & was sparkly and sweet. I loved it.
FOOD: Dan smoked some pork a few weeks ago & froze it so we unfroze/reheated it for the party. It was AWESOME. Dan is so, so good at smoking bbq. It is his specialty. We also had pasta forno courtesy of my parents and an Italian meat and cheese tray, they also brought buffalo chicken dip and then Dans mom brought a veggie tray and my Grandma brought chips. Plenty of food. And it almost all was eaten, so we definitely filled everyone up.
PICTURES: I was way too busy to get my fancy pants camera out and honestly, I'm glad I didn't. I got to really take it all in, mingle with everyone and watch while my Ava girl was celebrated with everyone we love. The only bummer: my phone died while at the party LOL and the only charger was in the car, so I had to rely FULLY on everyone else which sucked and is why I didn't get as many pictures of the party as I had hoped.
PRESENTS: We didn't open gifts at the party because Tori was sick and Ava wasn't very interested in anyone or anything that wasn't 1-cake 2-Mommy. I did however open them all last night and today and man, girlfriend made out. She got some of the cutest clothes ever and a bunch of fun and loud toys.

Ava's first bday party = great success!